Depressing Weekend of Football

What a sucky weekend of football.  The kind of weekend that makes me wonder why I did not go into Interior Design, or become a Movie Critic.  Sure, The English Patient can make you cry, but nothing like a 42-3 thrashing in Autzen when your team is ranked #6 in the nation and could jump to 4 with a victory, but lays a dinosaur egg    .  But I will get to that.

Let’s go through some of the big doings first in college, with numbers equal to rankings (before the games were played):

1) Florida won, but Tebow got a concussion.  I find Urban Meyer (Urban, really, what kind of name is that?  I know, named for the Pope, but still), a little prickly, and have had my share of Tebow worship, but hope he is OK.  Concussions and subsequent vomiting is never pretty. From an SEC standpoint, give th etitle the even more prickly Lou Saban and the Crimson Tide if Tebow is out for any length of time.

2) Texas: played a cupcake

3) Alabama destroyed Arkansas

4) Ole Miss went missing versus South Carolina; overrated

5) Penn State upset for the second year in a row AT HOME by the Hawkeyes.  Kirk Ferentz keeps his job by beating JoPa.  And can I thank him for devaluing the Big 10 for all of us.  Ohio State cannot beat a USC team that loses to Washington.  Michigan is a nice story, but has to squeek one out over Indiana.  Indiana?  Was Bobby Knight back as coach?  And lastly, Daryll Clark, Penn State QB, stinks.  12-32, 1 TD and 3 INTs.  Nuff said.  Choose whoever wins the Pac-10 to crush the Big 10 in the Rose Bowl.

6) Cal (no adjective is appropriate) against Oregon 42-3.  Since the score speaks for itself.  Let me tell you a story.  During the dark years of Cal football — essentially all of the 80s and 90s (not counting the 60s and 70s as I had yet to attend), I always wondered why I did not go to a school like Florida State   (remember, this was the 90s) and then transfer to Berkeley.  Now I am thinking, why transfer from FSU since the value of a Berkeley degree, the finest Public Institution in the world, only raises expectations.  I should be a CEO, or run an Environmental Organization, instead of the mid level manager.  Had I gone to FSU  I could own two Meineke Muffler Centers and be considered a success.  Not to mention has a couple of National Titles under my belt.

7) LSU needs a goal line stand to beat Mississippi State; cannot be that good.  Nice unis though.

9 & 11) Va Tech did crush The U, but Jacory Harris and Tyrod Taylor have a long way to go to be the next Vince Young, college version of course.  They were a combined 13-34 for 248 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT.  Auuugggghhhh.  Vince and Vick (see below in the Pro section) were special.  These guys have a ways to go.

17) Houston beat Texas Tech.  Sweet.  Second victory over Big 12 team, and did it with a late TD.  Remember Coach Sumlin, who will be coaching elsewhere next year, and QB Keenum. 

18) Florida State  can almost beat Miami, almost lose to Jacksonville State, drop 54 on BYU in Provo, and then lose at home to University of South Florida, whose QB was starting his first game.  Huh?  And while I am complaining, why is the University of SOUTH Florida in Tampa, which is not exactly south?  At least FSU  is in the capital of Tallahassee.

23) Michigan needs more Forcier heroics to beat Indiana in the Big House.  Big 10 pretenders.

24) Washington back to earth after losing at Stanford.  Watch the Cardinal totally ruin my year by winning the Pac 10.  The only solace is that Harbaugh is coaching elsewhere next year. 

NR) So Notre Dame gets another gift with a last second Jimmy Clausen TD pass, and beats a crap Purdue team that was worked by Northern Illinois.  Charlie Weis signs contract extension in postgame walk down the tunnel, and Clausen is given the Walter Camp Award.  Seriously, even my biggest ND backer, Die Baum (The Bomb in German) wrote to say that his “official response is we suck big time. Charlie must go.”  Alas, Charlie will survive long enough to go 7-5 to 9-3 each year, followed by a beat down in any BCS game.

And the Pros:

• To compound the Golden Bears lost at Oregon, I had to suffer my Niners giving up a 32 yard TD Hail Mary as time almost expired against the Vikes.  And just when you thought it could not get worse, the pass was thrown by Brett Diva Favre.  I was particularly worried that ESPN would dedicate 90 minutes to Favre worship, but with five guys in the booth, it only ranked a 6 on a the kneepadscale of ten.  They admitted that Favre played only OK, and when you consider that 14 of the 24 the Vikes scored came on the aforementioned Hail Mary and a 101 yard kickoff return, residents of the Mini-Apple might want to wait before booking a Super Bowl trip.  I only hope that Favre gets crushed by the Pack next Monday night.  If there is a football God, that is what would happen.
• Does Jay Cutler have a kicker voo doo doll?  Last week, Pittsburgh kicker Josh Reed misses two chippys, and the Bears win the game.  This week, Olindo Mare cannot hit two more, and the Bears win by six.  Plus, the Seahawks needed a TD on their final drive, and it would have only been a FG if Mare could have hit the Ocean (get it, Mare – Ocean).  Cutler and the Bears suck and it will play out that way, if there is a football God.
• In Philly, the return of Michael Vick was super exciting — 0-2 passing and one rush for 7 yards.  Glad we waited two years for that.  By the way, Kevin Kolb was 24-34, 2 TDs and no INTs.  Donovan might want to worry more about him.  On the other side, $60M dollar man, Mat Cassell threw for 90 yards.
   
• And in Oakland, JaMarcus Russell was 12-21 for 61 yards.  SIXTY-ONE.  Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Commitment to Excellence!
• And congrats to the Detroit Lions  for winning for the first time since 2007.  Motown needed that.
• Cowboys will beat Carolina, as that will just cap my weekend 😦

College Football Reminder Service

I wrote this last night at 2:23am, but am posting now:

#4 Ole Miss v South Carolina begins in 11 minutes (4:30pm PDT) on ESPN.

How is that for current!

Recommended Reading

Many of my readers ask me, “Yes MSG, where do you find the time to blog?  Where do you get all your facts?”

I am here to share.  First of all, I spend the time investigating the nuances of sport for the benefit of my readership.  Much like Investment Banks and Brokerages do all that research so you know where to invest — wait, bad example.  Anyway, I have a tremendous memory for useless information — want to know what Eric Dickerson average in rush yards per game in high school? — so when I hit the “kids, get off my lawn” stage, my blogging career will be over.  Beyond that, I have gleaned a number of invaluable internet sources.  I list them below for all of you, because it is axiomatic that if you are a reader of my blog, you have A LOT OF TIME on your hands!

General Sports and Entertainment

Bill Simmons (the King of sports/entertainment on the internet.  He is like the playground legend who actually makes the NBA, but achieves All-Star, not just Rafer Alston, status.  [Note, Rafer was an AND1 playground performer, who found his way to the NBA])

Jason Whitlock (most provocative and willing to rip people)

Mark Kriegel (good [Jewish] sarcasm and writes on a bunch of sports)

Tim Keown (cannot miss The List)

DJ Gallo (humor)

NFL Football

Tuesday Morning QB (which comes with the bonus of coverage of Science Fiction, Bad Government, Cheerleaders, and Astronomy.  And like me, did NOT think The dark Knight was all that as a film)

Don Banks (best straight up take on NFL)

Monday Morning QB (although Peter King writes with a style more for your dad’s generation, so best to skim; oh, and now that Madden has retired, is the biggest Favre apologist around)

Mike Silver (admittedly attended Cal with Mike and loved his stuff in the Daily Californian.  Not as big a fan these days, but no one, and I mean no one, rips his readers email more deadly than Mike.  Wields the keyboard like a prison shiv)

College Football

Stewart Mandel (in my opinion, the best for a blending of knowledge, entertainment and sarcasm over his overly serious readership)

Pat Forde Yard Dash

 

So click away, or just read my synopsis as it comes out!

Wednesday Morning Quarterback

Since Monday Morning Quarterback has been taken, and so has Tuesday Morning Quarterback, so I am taking Wednesday.  Although, admittedly, I don’t think that Peter King and Gregg Easterbrook can trademark those titles anymore than Twitter can trademark “Tweet.”  I think this guy  would have something to say about that.  But enough Loony-ness, as I Tot I Taw a Quarterback!

The Good

• Or should I say the ridonculous?  Kurt Warner was 24-26, 243 yards and 2 TDs.  131.2 QB Rating.  24 of 26?  Against an NFL defensive secondary.  Seriously?  Jacksonville should fire the DBs and the coach.  I could not even do that in Tecmo Bowl.
• Drew Brees has 9 TDs in two games, and 2 wins.  Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your #1 fantasy pick, or at least QB.
• The Mannings march their teams for last minute/second wins, and dominate the Oreo Double Stuff Racing League

The Bad

• JaMarcus Russell actually won a game passing for 109 yards, on 7 for 24.  I know they say that JaMarcus has accuracy issues, but 7 for 24?  That is like saying that Barry Bonds has a vitamin problem.   How can you complete so few passes?  How can you win?  How can the Raiders have made him the first pick in the draft — oh, it is the Raiders, nevermind.   What a Bust!
• Of course, not sure that Brady Quinn would have been better.  He is sporting an 0-2 record and a 67 QB rating. 
• When did Marc Bulger become the Chuck Knoblauch of QB’s?  This guy was the reason Kurt Warner left the Rams, got a 460M contract, and now cannot throw the ball.  I have seen him both live and on TV and it looks like he forgot how to play football.  Strange.  Bring on the Kyle Boller era; at least until the 2010 draft.
• And my favorite, Tony Romo, who christened Jerry World with a 13-29, 127 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT performance.  And one INT was a pick-six.  That results in a QB rating of 29.8.  Now the QB rating system is rather complex, but seeing that it goes to like 156, we are safe in saying that 29.8 sucks.  It turns out that in the post game news conference, a faux journalist actually asked the question that Yes MSG had previously thought of: “Wade, do you miss Jessica Simpson?”  Unfortunately, Wade did not have to answer as the faux journalist, the one who asked what was probably the most interesting question in the press conference, was escorted out. But seriously, maybe a ditzy, fat, blonde has-been/never-was is just what Tony needs.  If not, perhaps T.O.can come back.

The Whatever

• Tom Brady cannot throw 50 times a game.  End of story.
• Brett Farv-ruh has managed to throw for 265 yards in two games.  Nice game manager.  Look, I have no issue with game managers.  Shaun Hill of my hometown 49ers has made a career of this.  And in fact, these two meet Sunday.  However, Brett is a first ballot doofus Hall of Famer, who is earning $12M this year.  Pretty expensive.  And you mean to tell me that Sage Rosenfels could not hand to Adrian Peterson and pass for 5.5 yards per attempt?  Here is hoping he tanks when the weather gets cold.  Go Niners!

Don’t forget to catch University of Miami v Virginia Tech on Saturday (awesome cheerleaders)

College Football Recap – the YITBOS Edition

(Updated Sunday Morning)

Yes MSG is lucky to have two friends who attended the matchup today of #8 Cal and Big10 opponent Minnesota.  What makes this truly special, is that while these guys are finance geniuses, not of the non-Enron/Lehman brothers variety…(wait, one of them did have a partnership with Lehman, nevermind), they are technological Luddites.  However, they overcame their inability to Facebook, Twitter, etc. and used their cell phones for important texts and photos.  So before moving on to the “less” important action, let’s get the recap from the Mini-Apple.

My two correspondents, let’s call them Ray and Silent Q (any similarity to Jay and Silent Bob, is intended), turn out to be big hitters that got to fly to Minneapolis on one of the team planes.  Even better, it was the plane not with the players, but with the Cheerleaders.  Kudos gentlemen, kudos!  Now share the photos please!  (In the absence of photos, here are some placeholders)

The Gophers were opening a new stadium, no dome, and for that my correspondents certainly thought: thank goodness this game is not in November.  Anyway, for fans of new stadia, here you go:

So the Bears got out to a good lead and it looked like the Jahvid best-led team was going to have a cakewalk, despite the 9am PDT start time; a time, you all remember, that cost us so dearly against the UM Terps last year.  Best had two TDs in the first 7 minutes, then jet lag hit.  Early in the second half, it is tied 21, and all Cal grads feel the sphincter tighten.

However, Cal regroups, and thanks to an illegal procedure penalty against themselves, Cal gets another 3rd down try, converts it, and goes on to score.  They tack on a later touchdown, providing the 14 point victory.  And Jahvid put himself into the second tier Heisman discussion after carrying 26 times for 131 yards and 5 (FIVE) TDs.

However, even Ray admits that Cal escaped.  In fact, he and presumably Silent Q (aptly named since he cannot return an email), think Minnesota will upset Penn State, which we all need to prevent another crap Big10 team in the BCS Title game.

Ray and Silent Q, I do expect a photo essay (expose) from the Midwestern Clevelander.

Other notes from the weekend (read to the bottom for Notre Dame):

• USC loses to Washington.  Just one of my bad picks from below, but we all know that readers of Yes MSG do not use to bet, but to laugh.  Amazed that regardless of QB, SC could only get 13.  How does Pete Carroll lose to Oregon State, twice, Stanford, and UCLA all in the last 4  years, but beat the living crap out of all the reputable competition the other BCS conferences — Arkansas, Ohio State, Penn State, Auburn, Va Tech, etc.?  Nevertheless, this is the year for someone to rise up and take out Tommy Trojan.  Will it be…
• Oregon, who may have righted the ship by ending Utah’s 18 game winning streak.  However, Purdue losing to Northern Illinois does take the shine off of last week’s victory.  Cal gets Oregon in Eugene next Saturday to see who wants the Trojan’s throne.  But Autzen is a frightening place to play.  Most attendees don’t appear to have college degrees, or even a full set of teeth; they also appear to have chain saws in their cars.  Um, gulp, Go Bears!
• Utah’s loss removes one BCS pretender from the Mountain West from contention, and…
• BYU’s destruction at home at the hands of Florida State, giving up 54 points, removes another; only TCU remains, and at #15, pretty far to climb. (Note to my Mormon readership: you were upset that I did not give enough props after the Oklahoma victory; consider  the lack of criticism here for an egregious home loss as a ‘makeup’ call).
• Of course, Boise State is still undefeated and plays no one in the Weak WAC.  Don’t see it happening at end of year, though.
• Tennessee, despite all the idiotic comments of new coach Lane Kiffin, was NOT blown out by Tim Tebow and his head-sycophant, Urban Meyer.  A ten point loss was pretty impressive for a program (Tennessee) that has nowhere near the talent, had the audacity to predict a win, and, wrongfully, accuse Florida of recruiting violations.  Verdict?  Florida, watch out for LSU.  And maybe…
• Georgia v Arkansas — 93 points, 1000+ years of offense.  UGA wins.  Its own highlight show.
• Va Tech is losing to Nebraska, 15-10, with less than a minute and a half to go, and no timeouts.  So what happens to the Bo Pellini (ex LSU DC) coached Cornhuskers?  They give up a bomb – 60+ yards, down to the 4.  Then on 3rd and goal, Tyrod Taylor scrambles for about 40 seconds then throws a touchdown strike.  Va Tech wins.  Go online for the highlights.
• Ohio State beat Toledo, and Terrelle Pryor had a rebound game.  C’mon, it was Toledo.  Do it in Happy Valley.  ‘Nuff said.
• Notre Dame, are you kidding Lou?  I have to suffer with the insufferable Lou Holtz waxing his dolphin about Jimmy Clausen and the ND offense.  Umm Lou, if the Sparty QB had not totally overthrown a WIDE, and you have to see it to see how WIDE, open wide receiver in the end zone with only a minute left; and then followed that up with an interception despite being down by 3 and in field goal range, ND would be 1-2, Charlie Weis would be on his way out, and we would not have to listen to UNRANKED Notre Dame going to a BCS bowl game talk.  The nation (sarcastically) thanks you, Mr. Sparty QB. Conversely, annual ND opponents may be pleased that ND won since, with Charlie Weis as coach, you know they will never be that good.  Just good enough to keep his job.

At one point in time today, Yes MSG had access to 6 games on TV simultaneously.  Now I have to give my eyes and remote control thumb a rest, in order to prep for tomorrow’s NFL action – highlighted by NY Giants-Dallas in the official inauguration of Jerry Jones wet dream Stadium.

What I endure for my readership.

Football — the Oxycontin Edition

 Man

The NCAA and NFL amp us up last week with games last Thursday-Monday, then force us to go cold turkey on Tuesday and Wednesday.  I hardly knew what to do with myself.  Fortunately, tonight, in 30 minutes actually, we get hot ACC action — Ga Tech v Miami.

Ahh, Bernie Kosar handing off to Edge James; Michael Irvin catching the ‘9’ pattern.  Ray Lewis wreaking havoc. What?  Oh, my editor just informed me that all those giuys no longer play at the U.  Nevermind.

We still have Dennis Scott, Bruce Dalyrimple and Kenny Anderson dominating more athletic teams with its triple option.  What?  Those are hoop players?  Final Four in 1990?  Nevermind, let’s move on…..

OK, let’s talk college:

• Tennessee will get decapitated by Florida
• Texas Tech crushed by Texas
• Do you really think that 2008 0-12 Washington really has a chance versus USC, with or without Matt Barkley?
• BYU should beat FSU as they are at home, and Bobby Bowden lost it ages ago
• Can Cal wake up early and beat Minnesota, since the game is 9am west coast time? 
• Nebraska and Va Tech does pit two ranked teams, but I would call it “two rank teams”
• Cincinnati (Oregon State) and Utah (Oregon) have tests against reasonable Pac 10 opposition

Now onto the pros:

• Did you see that Jay Cutler Brian Urlacher dislocated his wrist during the loss against the Pack, and that explains all the interceptions he will miss the rest of the season
• Do they teach finance at Texas Tech?  Michael Crabtree is still so angry with his draft position that he is threatening to sit out the entire year and enter the NFL draft again next year, Mike Williams style.  I ws going to do a complex financial model demonstrating the Time Value of Money (TVM) and how a dollar next year is worth less than a dollar this year.  And I was thinking that the WACC would be 8-12%, but then I thought: Wait Crabtree — you would get around $16-18M guaranteed this year.  Next year, you will be drafted lower, and you will get less money.  Forget TVM, you will just get LESS money, absolutely.  Throw in lack of endorsements, and postponing your second contract by a year, and…….well, you are an idiot!  Remember, Eugene Parker, your agent, has a bunch of other clients and a lifetime of earning big money.  He can stand on principle.  You,  Crabtree, unless you have pre-IPO Google share, should sign, get your paycheck, and prove the Raiders wrong for drafting Heyward-Bey, on the field.
• So Brodie Croyle does a reasonable job running the offense in KC’s first game.  Not saying he is the answer, but makes you wonder if he is $63M worse than Matt Cassell
• JaMarcus Russell really sucks.  I have never seen a QB miss so many open receivers by such a wide margin in my life.  Sure, hit the 4th down bomb, but missed so many guys on other routes, that it makes you wonder.  Plus, doubt he cares. 
• Shawne Merriman is probably not on the short list of Nobel Prize recipients for anything academic.  And if he wants to parlay his fame into dating bimbos, well, I respect that.  However, you might want to steer away from equally crazy reality TV stars like Tila Tequila.  Not really knowing who she was, Yes MSG did some investigation for you.  I have published my research below, but the summary conclusion is that even though she appears quite appealing, women like this grow on trees for football players. 
• So Shawne, after the Steroid suspension, the knee injury, etc. try to find someone equally appealing, equally bimbo,  but less public, like Megan Fox

 

Don’t forget, Jim Kelly and Bennie Blades v Keith Brooking, Joe Hamilton and Calvin Johnson tonight on ESPN!

Random Thoughts on the Pigskin

So I am wathing what is a surprisingly entertaining game between the Raiders and the Chargers.  Currently it is 17-13 Chargers in the 4th with about 6 minutes to go.  Jamarcus Russell is limping off the field — um Al, you should have kept Jeff Garcia, but hey, Bruce Gradkowski, from Toledo, is the backup.  In the immortal words of Jon Lovitz — yeah, that’s the ticket.

One final college thought: On a weekend when Tate Forcier and Matt Barkley, true freshmen, led their teams to last second victories, Terrelle Pryor, #1 recruit and current sophomore starter for Ohio State,  looks lost.  He better find another position soon if he wants to play in the NFL.  His arm is suspect, his running was scared, and his ecision making lacked.  Considering the far more talented Michael Vick and Vince Young, have had a hard time making the transition to the NFL, Terrelle has 4th round bust written all over him.  Heck, one of my favorite duel threat QBs from college, Pat White, will probably never make a serious dent in the NFL.

Jamarcus Russell just threw a 57 yard touchdown pass on 4th and 15, FOURTH AND FIFTEEN, with 2 and change to go.  Nice coverage breakdown San Diego.  Norv Turner — amazing.  Regardless of who wins this game, and I predict that SD gets a field goal to tie and wins in OT, the Raiders will still stink, San Diego will win the weakest division in the NFL, and then disappoint in the playoffs.

Speaking of surprises, did you see the return of Tom Terrific?  The Pats are losing 24-13 to the Buffalo Bills, at Gillette Stadium, late in the fourth when Tom cuts the lead to 5 by hitting a touchdown pass.  But only 2 minutes and a few seconds remain.  So Buffalo receives the kick off, and Leodis McKelvin unwisely decides to take the kickoff out of the end zone.  However, decision looks OK as he gets to the 30, where he then ill-advisedly decides to fight for more yardage.  Um, why?  So he fumbles.  Pats recover.  Tom hits the tight end for the winning score, and a man who has 3 Super Bowl rings, a perfect season, an MVP, the record for most TD throws in a season, a son with a movie star, and a recent marriage to the #1 supermodel in the world, gets a cinematic comeback from knee surgery.  Seriously?  Where is the justice?

The Bills season just ended, much like Arizona a few years ago when they had Chicago on the ropes, but lost.  Denny Green lost it in the postgame, becoming a rich man from Coors Light ads (They are who we thought they were!).  TO goes off by week 8, and Dick Juaron is fired before the end of the year.  You disagree and say that the Bills can learn from this?  Nope, devastation reigns.  Goodbye Buffalo.

So I was wrong about the Chargers, they did not tie, they just scored a TD to win in regulation in Oakland.  9 plays, 89 yards and 2:16 elapsed.  Nice D fro Da Raidahs when it counted.

One tennis note.  Glad that Federer lost the US Open Final (yes, it was today) to Juan Martin Del Potro of Argentina.  Federer’s record is amazing, and he is worthy of respect, but after pulling out that lame gold “15” jacket after beating Roddick at Wimbledon, I lost all respect.  R-Fed, try winning a tournament that has Rafa Nadal (at full strength).  And save the classless sartorial gestures.  Of course, I imagine that Nike made him a “Sweet Sixteen” blazer for the occassion, which probably would have looked lovely in mauve, or chartreuse, on our Swiss friend.

Yes MSG out!

 

What Else? Football

You thought I would write about the unfortunate departure of Rafa Nadal from the US Open; or Serena going all McEnroe, without the charm….

Score Update — The Green Bay Packers, Yes MSG bandwagon team (see below), trailing the Chicago Whiners (in honor of Jay Cutler), and facing third and one with only 1 minute to go, just threw a 50 yard bomb to take a 6 point lead.  Green Bay only needed a field goal, and caught the Bears by surprise.  Gutsy call, and makes me wonder if Lovie is glad he let Ron Rivera go.  Go ‘farve’ yourself Chicago, Yes MSG is firmly in Mr. Rodgers’ Neighborhood.

Score Update II — Jay Whiner just threw an interception, his fourth of the game, on First and Ten and now the Pack runs out the clock.  Unfortunately, Yes MSG has already used all the vitriol and bitterness for which he is most famous!  Oh, wait, I can be bitter that my Niners took Alex Smith instead of Aaron Rodgers.  Not exactly Bowie-Jordan, but still up there.

Phew. Caught my breath.  Let’s start with College as that was more interesting (Note: I will not in general comment on Top 25 programs that played against Betty Crocker (cupcakes, get it?)).

1. Thanks to the Blue of Michigan for quashing EARLY the ND playing in the National Title Game, or, it is hoped, even a BCS bowl.  What a finish.  Of course, I did not see it as I was at Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey (&%)#*&@! Circus.  From what I understand, Charlie (Unparalleled Schemer) Weis, had his team throw twice with under five minutes to go.  Both passes incomplete, so it stopped the clock and aided Forcier, who threw the winning score with only 11 seconds to go.  Now Charlie may have actually been right as Michigan was stacking the box, but he will still be pilloried in South Bend, which is only fair when you have a $30M contract. While Forcier’s drive was impressive, it seems to have been overshadowed by…
2. Matt Barkley, freshman starter at USC, drove his team an effective 95 yards in the final minutes to defeat the Buckeyes at the Horseshoe.  As a Pac 10 guy, albeit one who does not go with the conference always, I was actually pleased to show that the Big 10 sux. So tired of hearing about it.  Of course, now Penn State probably walks to the title, and maybe a BCS Title Game since the rest of the Big 10 stinks.  Iowa almost loses to N Iowa; Michigan will not be that good; Wisconsin needs OT v Fresno State; Illinois coached by Ron Zook.  Yawner.  But also being from the Pac 10, someone better take out ‘SC this year as I want no part of Barkley in the two remaining years after this one before he goes to the NFL.  And to think Pete Carroll was like the 4th choice to coach USC years ago…..dammmmmmmmmmmm
3. Oklahoma State may have received $160M from T. Boone Pickens, but they are still Chokelahoma State after losing to Houston.  And not the Houston of Phi Slamma Jamma, or even of Andre Ware or David Klingler
4. Lane Kiffin of Tennessee is about to be humiliated.  First of all, they lose to a totally mediocre UCLA team at Rocky Top.  Next week they go into the swamp (Gainesville, FLA) to take on Urban Meyer and his love child quarterback, Tim Tebow.  Kiffin also pi$$ed off Urban Meyer with some ill advised comments during recruiting, and also, supposedly, stole a recruit.  Can you say 40 point beatdown?  Seriously, I am thinking like 52-13.  This just goes to show that Al Davis was wrong-right-wrong (for hiring Lane, the way he fired Lane, and for firing Lane).  What Tennessee was thinking?  I am giving this 2-3 years tops
5. And a special shout-out to my local Washington Huskies, who won for the first time since the 2007 season.  Sure, it was Idaho, which has not put out a good player since Mark Schlereth, but still, nice to see the kids do well.  Of course, SC comes to town next week, so maybe the fact that the head coach is Steve Sarkisian (ex OC at USC) and the defensive coordinator is the ex DC at USC, will help. Oh, and maybe not.

And a few thoughts on the pro game, which, if you watched, were pretty sloppy affairs, although did have some exciting finishes

1. First of all, let me admit biases — I am a Niners fan, but they stink.  I live in Seattle so support the Hawks, but they play in an AWFUL division.  Therefore, I need to bandwagon.  So I like the Pack, as they are QB’d by Cal grad Aaron Rodgers, and he goes against the Diva in Minnesota and the Whiner in Chicago.  Also like the Eagles as think they are deserving of the Super Bowl, even though I am also, paradoxically, a supporter of The Humane Society.  The Saints — total  underdog pick; the Titans, Fisher is a great coach; San Diego, DC is Ron Rivera from Cal
2. And who I hate: Cowboys — doesn’t everyone.  Vikes (I like All Day and the team, but outweighed by signing Favre, who treated Mr. Rodgers poorly, and cannot handle the drama each off season); Chicago (cannot pull for Cutler); Pats, even though Mr. Brady and I are both married to Brazilians; Pittsburgh — 6 is enough; Denver, as the Seahawks have their first round draft pick next year
3. Cincy lost on a fluky play, but if Heisman winner Carson Palmer and Chad Ocho Cinco cannot generate more than 7 points against the Denver defense, well…..
4. Cleveland stinks, but then again, since Joe Montana, has any good quarterback come from South Bend?  Ron Powlus?  Rick Mirer?  Add Brady Quinn to the list. Amazingly, Cleveland had not scored an offensive touchdown in 7 games, until getting a garbage time TD with 28 seconds remaining.  How is this possible?  7 games?  If you are not scoring touchdowns, you are losing, and if you are losing, the defense normally let’s up.  So no garbage time touchdowns in the final 6 games of the previous season?  Flabbergasted.  Takes ineptitude to a new high, or low
5. Adrian Peterson is a man.  If you did not see his TD run yesterday, find it on NFL.com or YouTube, if some viewer had the audacity to post a copyrighted video
6. The Cardinals stink and were a fluke
7. The “New” Bills — if new means new Offensive Coordinator, new Wideout, but old success (or lack thereof) – will get crushed by the Pats tomorrow.   Expected Terrell Owens to go off in the 3rd quarter.   Oh, and the Raiders play in MNF II at 7:15pm PDT; I am certain the east coast ratings for that game will go through the roof

Ciao!

All Football Issue

(Note: special photo bonus for those who read the entire post)

My loyal readers have been pestering me to comment on myriad football topics.  And Yes MSG has to say he was pretty happy knowing that the NFL started tonight.  And was even happier to see that ESPN counter-programmed with what turned out to be a super entertaining ACC matchup between the Ramblin’ Wreck of Georgia Tech and Clemson.  When you can hit the recall button and the DVR to flip between games, well, some might call that heaven!

So let’s get down to business:

College Football Addendum

My Mormon readership, which is pretty healthy actually since for each reader you gain like five family members, were disappointed that my preceding post only mentioned the Bradford injury and did not compliment the Cougars.  So let me cut and paste from Stewart Mandel of SI fame to atone (click here for the article)

There are games when a quarterback or other star player gets hurt, and suddenly the momentum changes completely. Oklahoma-BYU was not one of them. Obviously, the Sooners’ offense would have stood a much better chance in the second half if it hadn’t lost the reigning Heisman Trophy winner, but it’s not like the unit was trucking along with Bradford in the lineup. BYU’s defense was dominating the line of scrimmage early, and continued to do so throughout the second half.

Would the game have turned out differently had Bradford not gotten hurt? Quite possibly. But how different might the game have been for BYU had the Cougars not been without star running back Harvey Unga? BYU won despite rushing for just 28 yards. You could argue Oklahoma probably would have scored more than three points in the second half with Bradford, but I’ll counter that the Cougars might have scored more points, too, if they hadn’t been forced to play such one-dimensional football.

The Pros

To be honest, I have not given the NFL too much thought as everyone else does.  But stream of consciousness:

• My Niners will suck as they have no Quarterback.  Other than the SUPER CALI FRAGILISTICLY Defensive Ravens of 2000, and the almost as awesome Bucs of 2003, no team has really won without a least a reasonable QB.  And I am not certain that Shaun Hill or Alex Smith could hold Trent Dilfer’s or Brad Johnson’s jock anyhow
• Turk Schonert was not fired as OC for th Bills because he refused to dumb down the offense; he was fired because the first team did not score in 3 preseason games
• I wanted to Steelers to lose.  Just a bit tired of them, and, well, that is it
• You have to pull for the Classy Cal Bear Aaron Rodgers-led Green Bay Packers in the NFC North.  How can you pull for the Vikings with Diva-Traitor Farv-ruh, or the Bears with Whiner Cutler?  You may pull for the Stafford-led Lions, but that would be futile.  Btw, Bears at Lambeau on Sunday Night Football (Football Night in America I believe is the official name)

Futebol

[This is Soccer to most of you, but I also have a high percentage of international readers (like 1 of the 9 of you)]

Next year is the World Cup in South Africa and qualifying is getting down to the wire.  Now I don’t care much for CONCACAF, the USA group, since we play the likes of Trinidad and Tobago, El Savador, etc.  If we cannot get through this group, then what is the point.  I am talking about CONMEBOL, the South American qualifying group. [Note, I have no idea who makes up these soccer acronyms, but they really should be replaced with the team that did the Mac ads!]

Anyway, Argentina, 2 time winner and 3 time finalist, is in danger of missing the World Cup.  My Brasilian “Selecao” and it contrabandito neighbors, Paraguay have already qualified.  Chile has two games to do so and should not choke, and Ecuador controls its destiny in fourth.  Conversely, Argentina is in fifth, where, if it remained, would have to play a playoff from the 4th place team in CONCACAF (currently Costa Rica — Spanish for ‘free fall.”)

Uruguay only trails Argentina by a point and gets them at home in October.  Argentina not in the World Cup (would be a first since 1970) would be like the USA not making an international basketaball tournament.  We might not win, but not qualify? 

Very very exciting!

The Lingerie Football League

Hey, the title is All Football, and since my adopted city of Seattle has replaced the Sonics with a lingerie football team, who am I to make a value judgment?  And if I did, this part of the post would have been item 1.

The team names alone in this league is worth buying the jerseys:

• San Diego Seduction
• Dallas Desire
• Philadelphia Passion
• Miami Caliente (HOT for those who don’t speak Spanish)

A very progressive league that shows its games online — no blackout dates — so click here to subscribe.  [Note, Yes MSG receives no promotional compensation for linking to this site, but if anyone from the Lingerie Football League reads this, I would gladly accept it!  I could even become the official blogger perhaps; but only if this College Football thing does not work out.]

Anyway, I cannot do the league any more justice than these photos depicting the combatants and the intensity of the competition!

Lends new meaning to the words “Fantasy Football.”

CFB Yes MSG Recap

So what did we learn this weekend:

• Bloggers: Now I know why successful bloggers are single guys who live in their mother’s basement.  Having a wife, two kids, and a dog, means that I am up a lot, doing menial chores.  So I have lots of time to think up ideas, but (almost) no time to actually write it.
• Texting: I also learned that with CFB upon us, I need a larger text message package.  I only have 200 a month, but I am not an adolescent girl.  Yet, here we are, 10 days into the billing cycle, and I have sent or received 150 messages, 90% texting with my Pac10 and Big12 correspondents.  Looks like I need rollover texting.

Now on to the Games:

• #1 Florida beat someone: Proved nothing; wait for them to annihilate Tennessee in a few weeks for a slight test
• #2 Texas beat someone: See Florida above
• # 3 Oklahoma loses to BYU: B radford should have taken the NFL’s millions in guaranteed.  Instead, pulling a Leinart, he returned to college (and I can understand why — see below), but injured his throwing shoulder.  Will ahve to see how seroius, but the Big12 South may have just been handed to <vomit> UT.  The Sooners did not look particularly good on offense, and once they lost Bradford to that shoulder injury, well it got worse.  So unless Landry Jones becomes a cross between Greg Landry and Bert Jones, it could be a longer season for the Sooners.
• #4 USC destroyed SJ State, even with the true freshman quarterback; bodes well for the future and bad for the Pac 10.
• #5 Alabama beat #7 Va Tech.  I guess losing Andre Smith, their fat OL, and even their QB from last year, did not matter much.  Doubt it, but perhaps this means a challenge for Florida.
• #6 Ohio State squeeks one out against Navy.  At home.  I now predict that the Big10 sux.  Ohio State will get worked by USC at home next weekend, throwing the conference into a tailspin, with the possible exception of Penn State, who will then get their a&& handed to them whoever represents the Pac10 in the Rose Bowl.

OK, this is getting tiring, so let’s just highlight:

• Notre Dame. They destroyed Nevada — should we just hand them a BCS birth, and Charlie Weis another contract extension now? Hope that RichRod’s Wolverines can pull the upset next week, even if he is a Crying Tool.
• Oklahoma State.  Wow, actually beat Univeristy of Georgia.  I thought they might choke, which is what will make their eventual losses to Oklahoma and Texas more painful.
• LSU cannot be that good if they can only beat 0-12 Washington by a single score.
• Iowa.  Further proved that the Big10 sux as it had to block two field goals to prevent a loss to Div1-aa Northern Iowa.
• Oregon State. Defeated Portland State.  So what.  But supposedly Oregon State is thinking of using Jacquizz Rodgers as a Quarterback.  But as opposed to calling it the WildCat, Andy Staples of SI dubbed it “Wild Beaver.”  Easily the best call of the young season.  Will have to see if surpassed in the next four months.
• Games on Monday.  Yes, I know that Miami plays Florida State, but that game has not mattered in almost 10 years.  And Cincy plays Rutgers in a Big East showdown.  Yawn.  Let me know when a Cincy player punches a horse.
• Cal.  Post removed due to superstition.

The Heisman.  So with all the propaganda about Tebow, McCoy and Bradford, I thought a different take on the Heisman was in order.  Now I know that most of my readers have received many Heismans, but the wrong kind, the kind from the ladies.  So that is the one I will discuss.

(For my international and geek readers, the traditional Heisman trophy is presented to the putative best player in college football.  However, as the statue has a player with his arm extended outward, the “Heisman” is also used to denote when a woman who is being pursued a suitor, figuratively puts her arm straight out, blowing the guy off.  This is a Heisman that you do NOT want to win.)

Anyway, this got Yes MSG to thinking, Tebow, McCoy and Bradford are all athletic, good looking guys, and going to make millions in the NFL.  So they never get the Heisman from the ladies — other than Tebow who is saving himself, and therefore is not even up for the award.  But for arguments’ sake, which competitor would suffer most if he did actually get the Heisman?  Ladies and gentlemen, the tale of the tape:

• Tebow  
• McCoy
• Bradford

Tough call; may have to let the readers’ decide.

 

• Lastly, read Jason Whitlock for a surprisingly funny and offensive take on his broadcasting/writing brethren.

Next week will be busy — NFL and NCAA.  Hope my daughter learns to sleep!