The Essence of Taste

[If you recall the history of Monosodium Glutamate:

"The Ajinomoto company was formed to manufacture and market MSG in Japan; the name 'Aji no moto' translates to "essence of taste"."

What better way to describe Yes MSG. ]

So Yes MSG hits the pool today for a quick 1000M (OK, 30 minutes, but, like Michael Phelps, I had mainly been out of the pool since Beijing.  OK, actually Greece.  But let’s consider for argument’s sake that my back was waxed over a month ago, and I did not shave; makes a difference.  Also, I was not wearing an Arena X-Glide suit either, which brings us to our first story:

1. So Michael Phelps loses his first individual race in 4 years in the World Championships.  But did you hear the controversy?  Seems that the noname that beat him was wearing an Arena X-Glide suit that is worth, according to the victor, 2 seconds.  Phelps knew the suit was better but did not want to disappoint his sponsor who paid him $1M post Beijing, so he wore the Speedo LZR Racer.  Yes MSG take — too bad.  Look, I am all for Man over Machine, but didn’t Phelps himself use the at-the-time fastest suit in the Beijing Games?  Sure, you say, he would have won anyway, but really?  After all, he won the 100M Butterfly over Mirad Cavic by 0.01s.  Maybe the suit made the difference.  So until FINA says back to tiny Speedos, I guess anything goes.  No controversy here, anymore than in NASCAR and Cycling where the equipment can also make a difference.  Speaking of Cycling:
2. Alberto Contador wins convincingly the Tour de France.  37 year old Lance Armstrong finishes 3rd.  But the battle has just begun.  Contador says he never admired Lance the person, which makes sense since they were both vying to be #1 on the team, right up until AC destroyed the field in a time trial and a mountain stage.  I gotta be honest here — I support AC.  Lance has always been prickly, arrogant and condescending.  AC won the tour in 2007, so no wonder he would not want his team to hire a second #1 in 2009 (Team Astana was prohibited from competing in 2008).  Lance would have been 10x as pissed had the situation been reversed.  But at least we now have something to look forward to in 11 months when we care about cycling again, kind of.  Lance has decided to start his own team — Radio Shack — so he will be the undisputed #1 to challenge AC and Astana, or whatever team he ends up on.  Speaking of another sport we care less about until July:
3. The Phillies have to trade for Roy Halladay.  Why would you protect prospects, none of whom will likely be as good as Roy IS, when getting him means potential World Series titles this year and next?  The young Drabek they are protecting might someday be that good?  Doubtful.  Hey Phillies — Mark Prior, Kerry Wood?  “Nuff said.  But not enough said about sports that are important in July:
4. Brett Favre seems to have really retired.  I could care less as I tired of his act ages ago.  His act on the football field that is, but I never get tired of his cameo in There’s Something About Mary -

Matt Dillon: What is Brett Favre doing here?

Brett Favre: I am in town to play the Dolphins you dumbass.

Best Sports Cameo since Kareem in Airplane.

There is your July update, courtesy of The Essence of Taste!

Misc. Musings

As we are in the dog days of summer, and all we have to hold on to is the upcoming trading deadline for MLB, at least until NFL camps open, let’s cover myriad topics as that is what it takes to complete a post these days.

#1) Golfers are not athletes.

I wanted Watson to make that putt on 18 as much of the next guy, but I think I have finally found a rule — if your sport’s champion can be almost 60 years old, then you play a game, not a sport.  Now to my golfing fanatic friends, I don’t deny that hitting a golf ball does take athletic ability, but so does darts.  To further the point, NASCAR is at risk when an 81 year old can be competitive in a minor circuit.

Can you imagine a 60 year old baseball player (considering baseball is the least athletic of the major sports — remember Rick Reuschel?). 

#2) Speaking of older athletes, the Tour de France was interesting for a minute, but Contador has put the serious beat down on 37 year old Lance Armstrong.  Lance is the man for coming in (most likely) 3rd, but Alberto, at 26, has shown that there is no substitute for age.

Next year Lance will have his own team — team Radio Shack — and Alberto will have to find another team if Astana folds, which would be only slightly more surprising than the fact that there is even a team sponsored by a bunch of state owned enterprises from Kazakhstan.

Now we can go back to ignoring cycling for another year, just like we kind of do with Tennis and non-Tiger golf events.

#3) LeBron overreacted to getting dunked on.

I was going to link to it, but not even worth it.  LeBron at his skills camp comes over on help defense a bit late, and some kid from Xavier dunks on him.  Hardly a Noxema facial.  MJ on Ewing, Starks on MJ, Dr. J on numerous defenders, and my favorite Phil Henderson dunking on Georgetown’s Alonzo Mourning in 1989.

Get over yourself LeBron, you petulant little child.

#4) Tim Tebow is a virgin.

Good, the sportsworld has been lacking a successor to AC Green.

#5) The Pac-10 is Pathetic

So they published the TV contracts for football.  You can click here to see the details, but to summarize:

SEC – about $100M a year

and they even have a logo

Big 10 – about $100M a year

Big 12 – about $60M a year

ACC – about $35M a year

Pac 10 – about $25M a year

Big East – about $33M a year

Are you %)(#)&U%# kidding me?  The Pac10 gets less than the Big East, for FOOTBALL??????????????  If hte new Pac10 Commish does not rectify this inequity such that we get easily north of $50M per, then Yes MSG will have to marshall its readership to protest.  That should make them sweat!

If a Tiger Fails to Make the Cut…..

…..Will anyone watch on TV?

For those of you watching the British Open, you probably know that Tiger missed the cut.  First time in ages.  That sound you hear is the crying of ABC executives.  If I were remotely interested in doing any research whatsoever, I would compare this weekends TV ratings to last year’s as well as even the Thursday and Friday TNT ratings.

Thank goodness for the other TW, Tom Watson.  Him leading after two rounds is the only thing that could save the tourney, unless you are a huge Kenichi Kuboya fan.

Of course, even the mention of Tiger allows me to put in this photo:

Compare the British Open to the Tour de France where the broadcaster is incredibly lucky that Lance Armstron is in 3rd.  Now there is a reason for people who are casual cycling fans to spend hours trying to find Versus on their 500 channel cable box.

Oh, and Lance previously dated one of the Olsen Twins and Kate Hudson, neither worth a photo.  Let’s hope Tiger does not miss any more cuts.

I Love Shawn Marion

Yes MSG has a son, Yes RPG.  And while he is a talkative kid, like many 3.5 year old boys, he is limited in his affection.  Essentially not providing enough hugs, kisses and “I Love You’s” to satisfy his mommy.  But the other night we are sitting around and I bring up ESPN.com and it has a picture of Shawn Marion, (erstwhile) Toronto Raptor, on the home page.

Yes RPG: “Who is that daddy?”

Yes MSG: “Shawn Marion of the Raptors.”

Yes RPG: “I love Shawn Marion.”

Well then.  If Shawn Marion, aka The Matrix, is worthy of my son’s affection, then Yes MSG is obligated to break down the trade for his loyal reader.

Now remember, in the NBA trades are not normal.  They are done for salary cap, trade exemption, expiring contracts, but rarely for on the court value.  To use a school lunch playground example:

It is never: I will trade you my peanut butter and jelly sandwich for your corn dog.

It is always: I will trade you my corn dog and a snack to be named later to you, if you give Jimmy your 25 cents bus money, and he can then get home, and on Friday, bring me a dessert.  I will then trade the future dessert rights to Becky in exchange for a kiss on the cheek for me, and her soccer ball for you.  OK?

But let me try to break down the Marion trade simply:

Toronto:

Gives: Shawn Marion, Kris Humphries, Nathan Jawai, Cash $$$

Gets: Hedo Turkoglu (the Free Agent Signing becomes a Sign and Trade, enabling them to potentially resign Carlos Delfino), Devean George and Antoine Wright

Dallas:

Gives: (Marion a 5 year $39M deal, which is far less than the $17+M he made last year; hope he can feed his family); Jerry Stackhouse and Cash $$$

Gets: Shawn Marion, Kris Humphries, Nathan Jawai, Greg Buckner, Cash $$$

Memphis:

Gives: Greg Buckner

Gets: Jerry Stackhouse, Cash $$$, 2nd round draft pick

Orlando:

Gives: Hedo Turkoglu

Gets: $7M trade exemption since a Sign and Trade and not just a Free Agent loss, Cash $$$

Got it?  So the majority of the trade is Who Cares?  In fact, if not for the fact that The Matrix was my boy’s favorite athlete for 30 seconds I would not have bothered. So to net it all out:

• Cash $$$ was traded the most!
• Toronto will suck less with Hedo than with Shawn and Toronto’s large Turkish population may buy tickets, but will be out of the race by the All Star break
• Orlando gets something — $7M trade exception — which they can use to fill the holes in Vince Carter’s game as he is Hedo’s replacement — they remain competitive in the East
• Dallas gets another soft outside player to go with Dirk and Josh, and, while improved, will not be a factor in the West.

Toronto and Orlando should have gone the Corn Dog for Peanut Butter and Jelly route.

NBA Offseason

Sorry loyal readers.  I have meant to dissect the NBA draft for weeks now, but vacation and a child who refuses to go to bed and allow his father to write caused a delay.  But considering the draft was not that interesting — one “sure” thing in Blake Griffin and the rest a great debate on Ricky Rubio means that adding in the free agent signings makes this more meaty.

But before I begin, I saw that ESPN has a new show about Sports Nation or something, with some attractive blond and Colin Cowherd discussing topics of the day and asking the opinion of the listening public.  You know what I think, if you want to listen/read uninformed opinions from the general public about sports and other topics, then READ MY BLOG!

Now, let’s start with some free agent dealings:

• Jermaine O’Neal of the Heat decided not to become a free agent and to instead accept his $23M option for 2009-10.  Duh!
• Carlos Boozer (the injured one) decided to re-up with Utah and so did Kyle Korver.  Duh!
• Lakers sign Ron Artest.  Big signing.  They lose Ariza but at this stage Artest might be a more impactful player when you are going for a repeat.  They need to sign Odom too.
• Pistons sign Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva.  Who cares.  40 wins tops.
•  ’Sheed signs with the Celtics.  Cavs blew this one, but more on that later.  Doubt that gets the Celts another title as all the main players with the exception of Rajon Rondo are 32+, but does make them more competitive if they can pace themselves and Sheed decides to buy into KG’s program.
• Hedo goes to Toronto.  So he stiffs Portland as his wife wants to live in Toronto.  Will say it is nice to see a player prefer a more international city, or perhaps it was the $3-5M more over 5 years.  Then again, if Hedo went for the money, he is in need of a tax accountant.  As high tax as Oregon is, Canada is higher.  Then again it was perhaps the universal healthcare.  Regardless, Toronto gets moderately better and Orlando gets arguably worse depending on Vinsanity — more on that later.
• Birdman resigns with Denver.  Good to see quirky grad of Blinn JC, who had a drug issue (suspended two years), and who has a hair and tattoo problem get $26M. 
• Nobody wants AI.  Oh well.  Hope his money was in CDs.

And of course the trades:

• Vinsanity to Orlando.  So Vince takes Hedo’s place.  He is more athletic with a more diverse game — good.  Cannot play D (neither can Hedo), rebound or make those around him better, but should be interesting with Rashard and Superman II.  Good risk for Orlando, but considering Vince gets $50M in three years, why not resign Hedo for 5 with the same funds?  Vince not worth it.
• Richard Jefferson to the Spurs.  Still figure the Spurs don’t have enough to overtake the Lakers (with Odom), but getting RJ to spell/help Ginobili, Timmay and Mr. Longoria in place of the ancients sent to Milwaukee was a smart, last ditch effort.  Great trade; will not be enough.
• Shaq to the Cavs.  As I wrote before, I love this trade as it will make for an exciting Eastern Conference race.  Shaq is too old and fat, even if he were motivated, to make the difference in my opinion.  He can, however, play D on Dwight Howard, unlike the corpses that were Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Ben Wallace.  So great sideshow as we all hope for a Lakers-Cavs (Kobe v Shaq/LeBron).  Normally Yes MSG wants the underdog, but I admit that this final would be great.  And it would even happen ifThe Cavs got another outside scorer for LeBron.  Say, Richard Jefferson or Ron Artest or even Sheed.  Someone who poses a matchup problem, can play defense (Artest at least) or do a variety of things.  No way Bron, Shaq and Mo Williams get the job done.  Any hope of keeping Bron relies on winning a title in 2010, hence the Shaq trade, as that had better be a one-year deal.  But Danny Ferry better be a better GM than player and get a wing soon.

Now on to the draft.  Isn’t it amazing that with all the basketball players coming out each year that there is only 1 guy considered a possibility for stardom.  Obviously, some other players are going to do well, etc. however, I still think it wild that it is Blake and your Pupu platter.  Then again, with only 360 active players on roster, competition is tight.  Then again, when Sean Marks in on the Hornets, it is confounding that more guys don’t make an impact

1. Clippers – Blake Griffin.  Appears to be the athletic real deal.  Will come down with a rare form of ecoli wiping out his rookie season as he does play for the Clippers.
2. Grizzlies – Hasheem Thabeet.  First Tanzanian to play in the NBA.  Should have lots of opportunities to block shots, which is good, considering that is his only skill.
3. Thunder – James Harden.  Awesome beard.  Perhaps a good complement for Kevin Durant too, but that is second to the beard.
4. Kings – Tyreke Evans.  So they sign Beno Udrih for a ridiculous $30+m to play point, then draft a one-and-done to play point even though he is not a natural distributor and is kind of a ball hog.  Hmmmm?  That robbery by the refs against the Lakers in 2002 still haunts this franchise.  Hello Las Vegas.
5. Wolves – Ricky Rubio.  People are split on his skill, but he is an exciting pick with lots of upside.  Of course, not a good sign that his first comment about Minneapolis was that his mom thought it cold.  Expect him to stay in Spain while he negotiates his buyout from both Joventut (Spanish team) and the Wolves.
6. Wolves – Jonny Flynn.  Rubio insurance.
7. Warriors – Stefan Curry.  Cannot wait to see how Don Nelson misuses and destroys this promising rookie a la C-Webb, Brandon Wright, Anthony Parker, etc.  Please fire Don; he is a lame duck anyway.
8. Knicks – Jordan Hill.  They wanted Curry.  Hill is David Lee insurance.
9. Raptors – DeMar DeRozan.  DeMost interesting pick by a Canadian team.
10. Bucks – Brandon Jennings.  Could not qualify for US College, went to Italy, did little, says Rubio is overrated, has a sweet hairdo.  Think Kid n Play.  Bucks will suck less with him, but not saying much for the franchise that selected Andrew Bogut, Yian Jianlian and even Big Dog Robinson with 1st round picks.
11. Nets – Terrence Williams.  Anyone who wears Sponge Bob clothes around campus has the maturity to be an excellent NBA player.
12. Bobcats – Gerald Henderson.  His dad stole the ball from Worthy in 1984 to save the series for the Celts against the Lakers.  That will be Gerald’s legacy too.
13. Pacers – Tyler Hansbrough.  I like his energy and dedication, but at #130, not 13.  Really Larry Bird, this is the best you can do at 13.  Take a flyer on someone from the Congo.  A 12th man is not what keeps the Pacers from the title.  Of course, all the recent reports about whether the “Pacers are too white” being discussed on ESPN are pretty funny.  So thanks for that Tyler.
14. Suns – Earl Clark.  Rep for not giving 100% in college; that translates well to the NBA.
15. Pistons – Austin Daye.  First of all, I remember his dad, Darren, at UCLA, so f-u for making me feel old.  Second, 6′ 10″ and 190lbs.
16. Bulls – James Johnson.  Read that with all the James and Johnsons that have played in the NBA, this is the first James Johnson.  Will be his legacy.
17. 76ers – Jrue Holiday.  Heralded recruit out of high school.  Did nothing in college.  Considering the teaching that takes place in the NBA, hope he majored in Turkish.
18. Wolves – Ty Lawson.  Wolves want to ensure that no one has any point guards – that is their strategy.  OK, they traded him to Denver.  Will be interesting to compare his successful career but supposed limited upside, with Jrue, who did nothing but has ‘more’ upside.
19. Hawks – Jeff Teague.  Another Wake player which speaks well to the Deamon Deacon underachievement last year.
20. Jazz – Eric Maynor.  Beat Duke in NCAAs two years ago.  Enough for me to like this pick a lot.
21. Hornets – Darren Collison.  Um, well, I….who cares; pick 21.
22. Trailblazers – Victor Claver.  Never heard of him, and no point in reading about him now as the only reader who made it this far is me, the author.
23. Kings – Omri Casspi.  First Israeli taken in first round.  Doubles Jewish population of Sacramento.
24. Mavericks – BJ Mullens.  Spent one uneventful year at Ohio State.  Will be a towel waver in Oklahoma City, where he was traded.
25. Thunder – Rodrigue Beaubois. Call this the Tony Parker pick.  Speaks French, may be Tony (or Frederic Weis).
26. Bulls – Taj Gibson.  Hope he is good enough to be worthy of the coming Taj Mahal nickname.
27. Grizzlies – DeMarre Carrol.  Has his work cut out to be better than DeMar DeRozan, who has him by two capital letters.
28. Wolves — Wayne Ellington.  After four first rounders, I am too tired to comment.
29. Lakers – signed Artest and need to sign Odom, so drafted Toney Douglas and sent him to the Knicks, where he will carry Lebron’s bags in 2010.
30. Cavs – Christian Eyenga.  I actually think he is from COngo.  Pacers should have taken him.

Second Round.

OK, kidding!