Weekend Sports Recap

Someone won the Tour de France.

Someone won the ridiculous 11 caution NASCAR Allstate 400 at Indy.

Brett Favre is still in limbo but does not want to be a distraction to his teammates, just like Britney wants to be a good mother so does not make them sit in uncomfortable car seats.

Tammie Faye Bakker

Hi

I figured that the heading would draw attention and I will get to her.  But first, with little to blog about Sports-wise (OK, Goose Gossage deserves induction into the Hall of Fame), I thought I would cover a few topics.

1) Brett Favre — I agree that the Pack are better with him than A Rodgers, and I even went to Cal, but can Brett tarnish his legacy with his annual soap opera any more?  Every year we waited with bated breath to see if he was going to retire; then this year he finaly did.  Or so we thought.

Then he puts the team in a terrible position by saying (late) that he wants to come back and they should let him play elsewhere.  Whatever.  For goodness sake, he won ONE superbowl and lost another and that was 10 years ago.  He is no Montana — 4 SB victories, remmber?

Stop the madness and tend to your farm in Kiln, MS please.

2) Now on to Tammie Faye.  Is it just me or does every Evangelist have some sort of hypocritical addiction? 

The Bakkers had sexual, financial and makeup abuses.

Swaggert had prostitutes.

Haggard had drugs and male masseuses.

Even Oral Roberts threatened his flock with the “donate money or my maker will take me home.”

Now we have this Copeland guy with nepotism and financial improprieties. 

This is not to say that ALL Evangelical preachers are so affected, anymore than Pacman Jones represents all NFL Players, but it does seem that a large percentage of well known preachers fall prey to some vice; far higher percentage than that of the Young Rich athlete that would theoretically be railed against by the very likes of Bakker, Swaggert, Haggard, etc.

I’m just sayin!

Belichick Owes it all to Brady (and Mo Lewis)

I know that we are all awaiting the exciting denouement to the 2008 Tour de France tomorrow when some Spaniard who has not YET been caught using drugs wins this installment.

(It has been a banner year for Spain — Nadal wins Wimbledon and the French, Spain wins the Euro Cup — so Sastre’s win will, I guess, add to ‘el exito’ de Espana.)

Nonetheless, if anyone is interested in Football (American kind), I thought this article calling into question, ok debunking, the theory that Bill Belichick is a defensive genius was great.  Makes me wonder if he needs a new video editor or cinematographer.

Belichick’s Supposed Defensive Genius

Yes MSG recommends it!

Guiliani cannot be President or on the Golf Team (Tears are Shedding)

I should call this a political blog as it does involve the family Giuliani, but this actually revolves around his son Andrew.  You remember him, the little pudge who helped his dad with his acceptance speech as Governor of NY.  Turns out he is a golfer, kind of.

Anyway, the following is too funny, and could only be outdone if Rudy decided to sue the general electorate (or more appropriately, the Republicans) for not making him the Presumptive Candidate for the Presidency.

Comments from Yes MSG in CAPS below:

Rudy Giuliani’s son sues Duke over golf dismissal

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) The son of former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani is suing Duke University, claiming his golf coach manufactured accusations against him to justify kicking him off the team to whittle the squad.

Andrew Giuliani, a 22-year-old who will be a senior this fall, contends he had dreams of becoming a professional golfer and was dismissed without cause from the golf team in February without a chance to defend himself. He said in a statement Thursday that he sued “to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else at Duke.”

AH YES, MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS TO NO ONE ELSE.  DOING IT FOR THE MASSES, NOT BECAUSE I AM A TOOL.

Duke spokesman Michael J. Schoenfeld said the university would “vigorously defend this lawsuit” and insisted on fairness for all participants in its sports programs.

Giuliani was dismissed because coach O.D. Vincent III wanted to cut the team from 13 players to about half its size, the lawsuit said. He claims a breach of contract because he was recruited by Duke’s previous coaching staff.

BREACH OF CONTRACT?  HALF THE COLLEGE HOOPSTERS ENTER UNDER ONE REGIME AND LEAVE UNDER ANOTHER.  TUNE IN PUDGE!

“This has been heartbreaking,” Giuliani’s mother, Donna Hanover, said in a statement. “We tried for many months to convince members of the Duke administration that this situation should be corrected and we are sad that we have now had to turn to the court.”

BECAUSE DUKE DECIDED THAT ANDREW, UM, SUCKS AT GOLF.  LET’S SUE!

The coach said Giuliani “flipped his putter a few feet to his golf bag” and drove fast while leaving a golf course parking lot, according to the lawsuit. Giuliani also was accused of playing a team football game harder than the other players liked and of being disrespectful to a trainer.

But Giuliani says that conduct wasn’t grounds for dismissal. Instead, he said, the allegations were fabricated during the coach’s “rush to shrink the size of the men’s golf team. … The termination of Andrew’s eligibility would mean less competition for the few spots available,” the lawsuit says.

Last season, when there were 14 players on the Blue Devils men’s golf team, Giuliani was among the nine players who competed in only one or two tournaments. The team’s top five golfers competed in at least nine tournaments.

HE HAD DREAMS OF TURNING PRO, BUT ON IS MEDIOCRE GOLF TEAM, HE WAS ONLY GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY IN A COUPLE OF TOURNAMENTS.  TIGER MUST BE SHAKING IN HIS KNEE BRACE.  JUST GO BECOME A GIULIANI CONSULTANTS PARTNER LIKE ALL OTHER SCIONS OF POLITICAL FATHERS DO — GO SELL INFLUENCE AND CONNECTIONS AND YOU MIGHT BE PRESIDENT SOMEDAY.

Giuliani’s best finish was a tie for 36th at the Fighting Illini Invitational in Olympia Fields, Ill. His season competition average was 74.5, good for 12th best on the team.

OH WAIT, 36TH AT THE FLYING ILLINI INVITATIONAL.  HE IS A SURE FIRE PRO.

The 198-page lawsuit was filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court by Durham attorney Robert Ekstrand. Ekstrand did not immediately return a message seeking comment.

Rudy Giuliani’s spokeswoman, Sunny Mindel, said the former mayor had no comment.

“This is a private matter,” Mindel said.

The lawsuit seeks unspecified compensatory damages and the right to use the state-of-the-art Duke golf center while he is in school and after he graduates. It also seeks a jury trial.

MONEY AND USE OF THE GOLF FACILITY.  REMEMBER, JUST SO THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ANYONE ELSE AT DUKE.  YES MSG IS GOING TO SUE TO USE THE SONICS TRAINING FACILITY AS THEY WILL OBVIOUSLY NOT BE NEEDING IT.

The lawsuit said the coach created a “Lord of the Flies scheme” under which Giuliani might be reinstated. The reference was to the novel in which schoolboys trapped on an island tried to govern themselves.

Vincent said Giuliani could rejoin the team if each member wrote a letter that satisfied the coach in support of Giuliani, but if one member declined the suspension was permanent, the lawsuit said.

The coach then told players who expressed support to refrain until they talked more to Giuliani, and at the same time told Giuliani not to contact team members, the lawsuit said. Five players later wrote an e-mail stating that Giuliani should be removed from the team.

FIVE MEMBERS SAY SEE YA ANDREW; SOUNDS LIKE THE COACHES DECISION WAS SOUND.

OF COURSE, SINCE THIS IS DUKE, WHERE ARE THE STRIPPERS?

 

Health Warning

So Yes MSG happens to be shoppingand forgets toothpaste.  I have almost completed checkout but run back to get Colgate Total.  However, I cannot find it, so get Crest instead.  Who cares, right?

When I get home I realize that the Crest is anti-cavity; whereas, Colgate is anti-cavity AND anti-gingivitis.  Being the curious guy I am, I look at the ingredients (Active of course) to see if it is all marketing.

Turns out that while they both have the same percentage of Fouride (o.24%), the Colgate does also have 0.3% Triclosan, to combat gingivitis.  Wait.  Triclosan?  That sounds familiar.

OMG, I know where I have seen that ingredient, it is the active ingredient in Anti Bacterial Soap. 

Now last time I checked, you were not supposed to drink anti-bacterial soap, or use it as a mouthwash; however, using Colgate Total Toothpaste is OK, even though it has Triclosan.

Hey, just bringing you the facts, you, the reader, determine whether you want anti cavity AND anti gingivitis or not!

Exporting Hairstyles

For my hoop fans, you may have seen that Josh Childress, ex of the Atlanta Hawks, has decided to forgo his restricted free agency, as well as the 6 year, $33M deal, to go play in Greece. 

His deal is for about $20M AFTER TAXES, over 3 years.  Probably includes housing and transportation.  And he gets to be a star as opposed to an average NBA guy.  But more importantly, the fact that both he and Brandon Jennings (see post below) are heading to Europe means that the US is going to be the leader again in exporting Cool ‘Fros!  Check it blade – Childress and Jennings:

Certainly better than the look the NBA has been importing from the Euros:

Now if we can just bring back the Doctor!

Yes MSG Going Hollywood

Earlier this year there was a writers’ strike, and now there is the threat of an actors’ strike.  Considering the level of crap on TV when these guys ARE working, I started to think that I should expand my publishing empire into screenplays, even on the small screen.

Let me know your first impression of this Soap Opera-esque saga.

Gary Burke (GB) has been with Brenda Fuller (BF) for many years.  Before Brenda, Gary was a lonely loser.  Before Gary, Brenda was a wild child who had little to show for her 23 years.

But for the past three years, Brenda has been thinking of getting out of the relationship; that she needed something different.  Gary chalked this up to winter blues, since Brenda always had these feelings in the middle of winter, but by the time summer rolled around, she was back to her enthusiastic bouncy self.

But this year, Brenda made the break. She told Gary she was through.  Gary was a bit distraught, as he had been with Brenda for a very long time.  They had done some impressive and unique things together.  But like the good guy he is, Gary wished Brenda the best and soldiered on alone.

Sure enough, 3 months later, Brenda started to have a change of heart.  She called Gary.  Gary was excited about the prospect of a reunion, if cautious.  He had gotten to know Erin Rogers, who he liked, but it was still in the peck on the cheek phase.

However, when confronted with Gary’s presence again, Brenda decided she actually had had enough and wanted to move on.  Gary left, a little perplexed, but this at least left him free to move on with his life.

He and Erin started to get a bit more serious, and were looking at really taking their relationship to ‘the next level’ in the Fall.  Then Brenda, again, has a change of heart.

But Gary has moved on. He cannot take the pendulum anymore.  This only empboldens Brenda who starts to rewrite history.  Gary does not appreciate her. Gary should let her go.  Brenda never had anything against Erin, but still….

Then it turns out that Brenda may have been influenced by Gary’s neighbor — Millard Villmore (MV).  Gary is rightfully PO’d.  If Brenda wants to date again, that is OK, he guesses, but to want to go out with his neighbor, the one he does not like?  Who wears purple all the time, and brags of being of Nordic descent.

What do you all think?  Do I have a future in screen writing?  (Oh, and any relation between Brenda Fuller and Brett Favre, Gary Burke and Green Bay, Millard Villmore and Minnesota Vikings, and Erin Rogers and Aaron Rodgers is STRICTLY COINCIDENTAL!)

More Etiquette

My Etiquette postings hit such a nerve, I thought it only right to include this comment from Big12 correspondent Geno!

I’m with you on gym etiquette. Let me add a couple of very troubling actions recently witnessed that need to be banned:

1. Drying oneself.. The air dryers attached to the wall are not to be used to dry your cojones. A few weeks ago, I witnessed this rather unfortunate practice. Naked dude props a foot up on the counter, aims the nozzle and …..

And 2. It is not appropriate to use the overhang of your gut as a towel holder. No matter how large your waist, find a towel large enough to wrap around it.

Brandon Jennings (Kid n Play) to Serie A Basketball

Who is Brandon Jennings?  One of the most sought after schoolboy point guards until it became apparent that he might not academically qualify for his NCAA scholarship offer to Lute Olsen’s Arizona Wildcats.

[AWESOME FLATTOP, reminiscent of Kid N Play]

Since he could not enter the NBA draft due to age restrictions, he decided to blaze ground by going to Europe to play.  He reportedly had interest from Spain, Greece, Russia, Italy and Israel.  He ended up signing with the well known Pallacanestro Virtus Roma.

I know that they have almost as many supporters as Tau Ceramica, Panathinaikos, Spartak Moscow, and Maccabi Tel Aviv.  You can get their gear here. 

Personally, if he wants to pursue basketball, and not one semester of education and some UA Co-eds, that is fine with me.  Plus, of the countries, I think, with the exception of Spain, which I would put at tied for number 1, he chose well.

Rome is awesome and fringe benefits of playing in a Roman and European capital are many.  I am sure that Brandon will work as much on his study of Roman architecture as he will his crossover.

Sure beats the heat and humidity of Moscow and the 1st/3rd world transition in Russia.  And while Israel is first world, who wants to get traded for an Hizbullah guerilla.

I wish I were his handler!

All Star Game recap: Let me beat the NY Post

For those of you who watched or read about the MLB All-Star game, my prediction for NY Post Headlines:

“Dan Uggly”

“Uggla Finish”

“Ugg(la) – National League Loses Again”

“Fuggla!”

Whoa!  Tejada just made a GREEAAATT play to first, rendering the bases loaded no outs moot after two infield grounders that led to force outs at home.  AL squanders chance to win in bottom of 10th in a 3-3 game.  Headline now reads:

“Cook saves National League from Uggla ending” 

Guess I will be using the Simmon running diary mechanism.

So now we are in the 11th.  AL has no position players left.  The fact that the World Series home field advantage rests on the results of this game is rendered even more ludicrous by this development.  Oh, that and the fact that the fans get to elect the 32nd player, so the WS home field could be decided by essentially the 63rd and 64th choices of the voting public.

Maybe the inestimable Christian Guzman can give the NL the lead.  (Wait, Christian Guzman is an All Star?  Oh yeah, each team has to have an All Star — the Major Sports League equivalent of ‘every Little Leaguer gets a trophy.’)

While I sit here and listen to Joe Buck’s diarrhea of the mouth, it got me to thinking.  Sure, McCarver is annoying, but at least he is in his 60s.  How did Buck, who must be at most 40, get to be such a fuddy duddy?

OK, bottom of the 11th — let’s see what happens.

12:15am on the east coast — kids must be loving it; oh wait, they are in bed.

Kinsler just stole second but called out because the tag was close.  Dioner Navarro walks and JD Drew hits what would have been the winning single.  So let’s see if the Bosox or Cubbies will get home field.

OMG, Young singles but Navarro is as slow as JT Snow (see playoff game against Fla Marlins), McClough makes great throw, and Russell Martin makes excellent play on the short hop to tag him out at home.  OK, he was not out, he slid under the tag and when his knee was hit, the foot was on the plate, so the AL gets hosed again.  But in baseball, close is always out.

On to the 12th.  If this goes on much longer, Lincecum will have to get out of his hospital bed to pitch.

Wow, Nate Mclough will be MVP as he beats out his bunt, to add to his legacy from throwing out Navarro.  Interesting, Mariano Rivera almost blows it earlier, but gets the double play.  Uggla makes two errors, then gets a reprieve with great pitching and fielding.  Now he is up with bags full and one out.  Ultimate chance to go from goat to hero.  Let’s return to the action:

Swing and a miss

Strike two looking

Down looking on a wicked 12-6 curveball.  Not the goat, but not the hero either.

Got to admit that I was not even planning on watching this game as I find it boring, but tonight it really is worthy of the name, Midsummer Night’s Classic.

If this goes to the 13th, someone will have to get Joe Buck a glass of warm milk.

Adrian Gonzalez has a chance to hit the second Grand Slam in All Star game history.  The only other being Fred Lynn off of Atlee Hammaker in 1983.  Atlee still in therapy and Fred still the only one to hit a GS.

Not really fair to Cook that he has to pitch yet another inning.  Guillen doubles on first pitch.  Wait for the bunt.  Heartthrob Grady Sizemore is now up. 

Guillen at 3rd with one out.  I walk the next batter, but perhaps that is why I am not a major league manager.  Desperate Third Baseman Eva(n) Longoria is up (yeah, I know that was an easy joke, but i have refrained from all Corey Hart jokes.

Foul ball, but Russell Martin is using a fishing net for a glove — what a play.

Cook fans Longoria — AL still desperate — get it, desperate?  I will be here all week.

Ground out to 3rd.  Do you realize that Christian Guzman never played 3rd in the major leagues?  Guy is playing like an All Star.

13th. (Click link below to read the rest of this entry as I have no idea how long it (and the game) will go.)