Brasilian Sports Hall of Fame

So I am down here in Brasil (using their spelling to be pedantic).  Anyway, I go to my brother in law’s gym the other day and I get asked if I want to play in a pickup basketball game.  Sure, why not.  I had shot a half dozen times while back in Seattle.

I am a bit concerned, but YesMSG reacts well to pressure.  I am lighting it up — cannot miss from the outside, hitting the open man, getting rebounds.  As I continue trash talking with the locals, it is obvious that based on my accent that I am not Brasilian.  Well, when the locals find out that I am American, they are psyched.  They start announcing it to everyone.  This guy’s American, as if I have some nationalistic advantage.

For those that don’t know me, I am far below 6 feet tall, and I am Jewish, meaning that my religion has more current NBA team owners than it has NBA Alumni.  Hardly an advantage.   I guess this is what a Brasilian feels like when he plays soccer with Americans — as if they all were Ronaldo or Pele.

Regardless, it is nice to be a celebrity.

I follow this up with a friendly soccer game out in the countryside.  Not a soccer veteran, I somehow find that my speed gives me an advantage, and end up scoring 6 goals in a lopsided victory. 

Phew!

I should never leave this country, as I have had more athletic success in two weeks than in the past 20 years in the USA.  What is next — Brasilian Ski Team?

Oh, I guess I should point out two important pieces of information:

1) The hoop was against a bunch of 12-13 year olds.  But hey, some of them were taller than me.

2) The soccer was against my 8 year old nephew and his friends.  But they play all the time, and I NEVER played organized soccer.

Think what you will, but I am off as I have a swim meet against a bunch of 6 year olds.

Reading Recommendations

This should keep you all busy while I am away.  I have not read, but plan to, and suspect that this would be the kind of book I would have written if I had any talent.

http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/kennymayne/index.html

Latrell Sprewell

Ex-Warrior, Knick and Timberwolf Latrell Sprewell never ceases to amaze.  For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Sprewell, he is the recipient of numerous awards.

Father of the Year: This award was given after one of Sprewell’s daughters was mauled by his own pitbull — ripping off her ear.  Sprewell’s response was basically, to paraphrase, ‘these things happen; she should not have been playing with the dog.’

NBA Man of the Year: This was in response to his, of course, justified choking of then-Warriors coach PJ Carlesimo when asked to do something egregious, like put more effort into practice.  While Latrell did have to chill out the rest of the season on the suspended list, he was able to sign the following year with the Knicks for, I believe, $69 Million Dollars.  This will be important later on.

The Gilligan Award: Latrell received this award for living in Milwaukee, on a yacht, yes a yacht.

Husband of the Year: Won when he was having a child support legal battle with his ex, who lives in NY state with his kids, even the one, presumably, missing an ear.

Regular Guy Award: Back when his last contract was up in 2004, Minnesota offered him 3 years and $21M; to which Mr. Sprewell replied that he could not accept the contract since he ‘had to feed his family.’  Hmmmmm, if you cannot feed a family of almost any size on $7M per year, you must have expensive taste.

The latest award for Mr. Sprewell is

Financial Advisor of the Year (aka Mr. Subprime Mortgage): Despite the aforementioned $69M contract, plus the other monies he made playing in the NBA, Mr. Sprewell’s home was recently foreclosed.  So you see, economic hardship and the Subprime crisis do not affect only the poor.  Nope, this recession affects the rich too.  (Oh, and should I mention that Commodore Sprewell already had lost the boat.)

Only a matter of time before Spre makes it all up with his own reality series alongside Suze Orman and James Cramer.

 

Fact Finding in Brazil

Yes MSG will be heading to South America for some fact finding.  I know, why go to South American when there is so much going on here.  Well, to summarize:

- Lakers beat Detroit in NBA Finals — 6 games

- OJ Mayo, he of the “next Lebron” title when a freshman in the first of his 5 high schools, the AAU touring team rep, and then the suspect recruitment to USC, may have taken improper benefits?  Oh no?  It cannot be :-O 

Seriously, this is the most unsurprising story of the year.  Only those who think Iraq is going well, and that Karl Malone is a good family man would be surprised by this.  Next thing you know, they will state that Olympic Athletes cheat.

Plus, the stories in Brazil are more appealing.  Ronaldo, the second most famous Brazilian footballer of all time (2 World Cup titles, 3 Finals, all time leading World Cup scorer, FIFA Footballer of the Year) was caught in Brazil with some, shall we say, Spitzer-type women, who turned out to be men.  Yep!  The Crying Game!

Consider that when Ronaldo was at Barcelona, he was involved with:

While at Real Madrid, he dated, and even married and divorced:

He recently transferred to AC Milan, where he was linked to:

But recently he injured a knee, putting his return to top level soccer in jeopardy, so while rehabbing in Brazil and contemplating returning to Brazilian League and his hometown team — Flamengo, he ended up in a motel with:

And this was a man.  In front of the notorious motel.

Needless to say, Ronaldo has outdone Barry Bonds and Clemens by a long shot.  And if he decides to go into politics, he is way beyond Spitzer and moving into Clinton territory with his recent taste.

THIS JUST IN: Ronaldo’s current girlfriend just announced she is pregnant and that they are going to get married.  You could not write this stuff.

Yes MSG Back in early June, unless I post from South America in between Caipirinhas!

 

Best NBA Early Entry of All Time

Sure, all of you hoop fans, and fantasy league players, can select the Michael Beasleys and Derrick Rose’s; heck, even Robin Lopez.  But for the true sleeper of the draft, I suggest Zach Feinstein (introduced to me by craigbe!).

Sure, Zach has not played any college ball, but that did not stop him from potentially having his name mentioned in NYC on draft day.

And by just declaring for the draft, he is now the 5th rated Jewish basketball player in history, behind

1) Dolph Schayes

2) Danny Schayes

3) Mike Bratz

4) Clyde Drexler

For the full article and documents, visit: http://www.draftfeinstein.com/process.php

 How Did I Declare for the NBA Draft?
The story begins in April of 2007, when one of my roommates (Dan) suggested that we should declare for the NBA Draft the following year. He, of course, said it jokingly. I, however, thought he was serious.

I did nothing about this idea until this past January, when I began to look into what would need to be done to actually enter the draft. I started by viewing the NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Here I found in Article X Section 1 (b) the information I was looking for:

(i) The player (A) is or will be at least 19 years of age during the calendar year in wich the Draft is held,
and (B) [...] at least one (1) NBA Season has elapsed since the player’s graduation from high school [...]
(ii) (F) The player has expressed his desire to be selected in the Draft in writing received by the NBA at
least sixty (60) days prior to such Draft (an “Early Entry” player)

NOTE: I have seen it mentioned in numerous places that people believe there is a fee associated with declaring for the NBA Draft. This is false, it is FREE to declare. I hope this clears up any confusion.

It was at that point decided – I must write a letter to the NBA declaring my intent to be drafted. Using my best legalese I crafted such a letter.

But where do I send such a letter? Despite my best efforts, I could not find an address for sending draft declaration letters. I contacted the NBA through nba.com. Surprisingly I got a response quite quickly; unfortunately, it did not contain an address.

Weeks went by, and finally in early March I found a solution – send the letter using the Fan Relations address given on nba.com. I sent the letter with Attn: Draft Declaration. Additionally, the letter was sent certified mail so I could be sure it was received and the NBA could not ignore my ridiculous declaration. It arrived at NBA League HQ at 12:55 PM on March 4, 2008.

At this point I was unsure what would be needed next, so I waited to be contacted.

Finally on April 1, I got a reply – a letter in my mailbox from the NBA. But this was no April Fools’ joke. They were letting me into the NBA Draft.

All I needed to do was fill out 3 pages (2 of which are copied below).

I faxed those forms in on April 2nd.

Since I had waited and heard nothing back from the NBA in terms of confirmation, on the morning of April 14th I decided to call up the NBA. This conversation went quite well as Erika Ruiz quickly confirmed that all my papers were in order and no further steps needed to be made by me. And behold as of May 1 I am able to find myself on the Early Entry List at draftexpress.com and nbadraft.net under “unknown players”.

NBA (or Why They Call Him The Mailman)

Before I get to Karl Malone — “family man”  Let’s get some other points out of the way.

My February 24th post already predicted my Detroit-Lakers final after the Lakers fleeced the Grizzlies for Pau Gasol.  So with little tension until we get later in the playoffs, I thought I would put out a few burning thoughts on the NBA in general.

(Now I must admit that I am originally from the Bay Area, so I have an anti-LA sports team bias; however, that being admitted:)

1) The Lakers Dynasty (Shaq-Kobe Days)

In their first championship year, the Lakers trailed the Trail Blazers by 15 in the fourth quarter before Shaq and Kobe went off.

In their second championship year they rolled through the playoffs.

In their third championship year, they had Horry’s miracle 3, and the egregious officiating in Game 6 where they attempted 27 free throws in the fourth quarter to force a game 7.

So let me get this straight — the Lakers dynasty was one 4th quarter collapse and a pathetic officiated game from being a single title holder.  I know, I know, the titles is what counts.  Hey, the comeback was legit, but the officiating leads me to my second observation.

How can a league survive (and I like the NBA) when so many key games suffer from ridiculous officiating?

In addition to the Lakers mentioned above, there were the final between Dallas and Miami where Dwyane Wade was given two free throws just for leaving the bench.  That series stunk.

And last year you had game three between San Antonio and the Spurs that was poorly officiated in the Spurs favor by Tim Donaghy.  Yes, the penitentiary-residing ex-NBA referee.  This of course was followed by the silly suspensions of PHX players for leaving the bench.

Needless to say, officiating arguably cost PHX and Sacto chances to win an NBA title, thus changing legacies for guys like Steve Nash and Chris Webber in the process. 

Speaking of potentially mismatched legacies, let’s get to the Mailman.

As you all know, Yes MSG has a special space for the athletic competition of out of wedlock births.  Little did I know that the Mailman, Karl Malone, a man who played like 17 years in Utah, has three illegitimate children.

One was just drafted into the NFL -  Demetrius Bell.  The other two are twins, one of who plays in the WNBA for the Detroit Shock.

But the funny thing is that Karl, who has 4 kids with his current wife, has a limited relationship with the twins (probably because she made the WNBA) and no relationship with the NFL Draftee.  But wait, it gets richer.

He told the Demetrius that it was too late for him to play father, and that the kid would have to make it on his own.  Gee Karl, that $100M you earned must not have been enough.

And it turns out that Demetrius mother ‘may’ have been 13 when Karl and she conceived.  Now why it is only alleged that she was 13, I have no idea.  Unless she is a Dominican ballplayer, she should have an accurate birth certificate, but I digress.  So let’s recap:

Karl is an absentee father

Karl is a deadbeat dad

Karl is cheap

And Karl was not the best Power Forward of all time, just the biggest choker.  In game 6 of the Finals, with the ability to force a Game 7 (something no one ever did against the Bulls Dynasty), you do not, with a lead of one and the clock running down, get stripped of the ball, EVEN BY MICHAEL JORDAN. 

This was, of course, followed by MJ’s blatant push off on Bryon Russell, not called.  So see, even Karl’s out-of-wedlock propensity comes full circle to poor officiating.

For more on Karl, you can read here.

NBA Early Entries (or Why Ryan Anderson should stay at Cal)

So all these guys want to go pro — which is funny as there are only 30 first round spots with guaranteed contracts, and this list does not include foreign players or college seniors. But, it is hoped, this will convince Ryan Anderson to come back to Cal, as that is there only hope for respectability.
My analysis!
Early entries to NBA draft

Player Position School Class
A.J. Abrams* (Texas)
Slight long range shooter — should go back to school

Joe Alexander* (West Virginia)
Hope he goes back to WVA as I like that team with him, but he stays

Antonio Anderson* (Memphis)
Not even a top 3 player on your team

Ryan Anderson* (Cal)
New coach, go back to school

Darrell Arthur* (Kansas)
Was pretty much a man in the tourney

D.J. Augustin* (Texas)
Despite getting W-O-R-K-E-D by Derrick Rose, he may as well go

Jerryd Bayless (Arizona)
Thank goodness, weakens the Pac 10

Michael Beasley (K-State)
Led nation in rebounding, 3rd in scoring as a freshman — come back to Manhattan — oh wait, that is Manhattan, KANSAS. Nevermind

Chase Budinger* (Arizona)
See you on the AVP Tour

Derrick Caracter (Louisville)
Has no Caracter — you are looking at the next Isiah Rider

Demarre Carroll* (Missouri) 
Who?

Josh Carter* (Texas A&M)
Who?

Mario Chalmers* (Kansas)
Great shot, but you are still small — go back to school

Lee Cummard* (BYU)
Who?

Chris Douglas-Roberts (Memphis)
If Rose goes, which he does, so do you

Robert Dozier* (Memphis)
Back to school for the same reasons as Antonio Anderson; plus, you cannot shoot

Wayne Ellington (UNC)
Nice pedigree, but you are not that good yet; if Hansbrough comes back so do you

C.J. Giles (Oregon State)
Oregon State? Like 6-23 record. Um, get out your atlas

Eric Gordon (Indiana)
One and Done

Jamont Gordon* (Miss State)
Maybe someone will mistake him for Eric Gordon

Danny Green* (UNC)
Um 4 good games in the tourney are not enough unless you are Russell Westbrook

Donte Greene* (Syracuse)
Probably get drafted on “potential”

Richard Hendrix* (Alabama)
Jimmi? Power

J.J. Hickson* (NC State)
Highly recruited out of high school, then did nothing — be like Daquan Cook — which may not be bad

George Hill* (IUPUI)
How can you go early from IUPUI?

Lester Hudson* (UT Martin)
This guy can actually light it up

Shawn James* (Duquesne)
No one has gone pro from Duquesne since Norm Nixon

Davon Jefferson (USC)
You cannot come out early as a Frosh when your teammate Mayo is.

DeAndre Jordan* (Texas  A&M)
Underachieving Freshman center, meaning he will be drafted early

Kosta Koufos* (Ohio State)
Will be first round pick of Panthanaikos

Ty Lawson* (UNC)
Small and fast but should go back with other UNC guys

Brook Lopez (Stanford)
I always forget which is the good one. I think it is Brook — anyway, just happy to weaken Stanford

Robin Lopez (Stanford)
Oh yeah, this is the side show Bob brother — just like Jarron Collins, he makes a nice living in the NBA and it benefits Cal

Kevin Love (UCLA)

No reason to stay — will be a solid, bigger Luke Walton in the pros, but worked by the likes of Amare — but then again, who is not?

Leo Lyons* (Missouri)
Two guys from Missouri?

O.J. Mayo (USC)
He wanted to go pro since he was a Junior in HS

JaVale McGee (Nevada)
Nevada is now putting out early entries? Should stay the four years like Nick Fazekas did

Luc Richard Mbah a Moute* (UCLA)
My favorite Camaroonian in the league, but he goes back to UCLA

Jeremy Pargo* (Gonzaga)
Pargo? Rhymes with Fargo — NBDL baby

Trent Plaisted* (BYU)
Two guys from BYU?

Anthony Randolph (LSU)
Welcome to this year’s version of Tyrus Thomas, and Stromile Swift. Buyer beware

Derrick Rose (Memphis)
Still causing nightmares for Collison of UCLA and Augustin of Texas. May he fall to the Warriors

Brandon Rush*
Jaron, Kareem, now Brandon –thank goodness we got that out of the way

Josh Shipp*
You have got to be kidding me; if he stays, he plays, in Turkey

Marreese Speights* (Florida)
Stinks and inconsistent — but you can’t teach size

Ronald Steele* (Alabama)

I think he sat out last year with a knee injury, so this makes perfect sense

Robert Vaden* (UAB)
Heard his name; heard he should not come out

Lorenzo Wade (San Diego State)

Only if related to Dwyane

Bill Walker* (Kansas State)
Shadow of Beasley and Mayo — no different in the NBA

Russell Westbrook* (UCLA)
Parlaying 5 good games into a lottery pick. More reason for Anderson to go back to Cal

*Players have not signed with an agent and retain their eligibility

Just what A-Rod Needed

So not only can’t he hit in the postseason, his wife threw him under the proverbial bus by pointing out the following:

Alex Rodriguez passed out during the birth of his first daughter.

Alex Rodriguez

2008 Season Stats

GM	HR	RBI	R	OBP	AVG
24	4	11	14	.343	.286

 

“The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head. The other nurse had the blood pressure on his arm. And my mother was like rubbing his back. And he is passed out on a couch. And I am there, in the middle of labor,” Cynthia Rodriguez, wife of the New York Yankees star, said on an episode of the YES Network’s “YESterdays” that is scheduled to be broadcast Wednesday night.

“As tough and big as he seems, he is real wimpy around doctors or any type of medical situation,” Cynthia Rodriguez said

Just what his image needs.  This is worse than slapping Bronson Arroyo.

Go Yanks!

More Roger Clemens

Just to tack on the the answer 14-B two posts below, Roger Clemens has now come out with the following statement:

Now, I have been accused of having an improper relationship with a 15-year old girl. Nothing could be further from the truth. This relationship has been twisted and distorted far beyond reality.  She was 16 when relations started.

OK, I added that last part, but seriously, when you have to (kind of) deny relations with a 15 year old, a “former bartender” (who knew that Bartender, like President, Actress, Singer, was a career worth being a ‘former’) and the wife of an equally, yet distinct, self-destructive golfer, well, let’s just say it is not your day.

You can read more from SI here.

Why the Sonics are Leaving Seattle

So my loyal reader may or may not care that the Sonics look like they are going to Oklahoma — good luck signing free agents.  Anyway, up here in the Pac NW, there are many questions as to why the league and Commish are not at all supportive of the Sonics staying. 

I think we know why.

Read the following from an email exchange between Clay Bennett, owner of the Sonics, and Commissioner David Stern:

“You are among the very few, notwithstanding our relative brief actual physical time together, that have significantly affected my life.  I view you as a role model, as an extraordinary gifted executive, a deep and passionate thinker, and a person with a rare and unique charisma that brings out the best in everyone you touch.  You are one of my favorite people on earth.”

What?  My goodness, my wife wishes I were so romantic.  Who writes this stuff?  Bennett is rich enough to own a professional sports franchise, and Stern, technically, works for him…..

Creepy.

Hopefully the Hornets and CP3 will come to Seattle — I would miss Durant, but not Clay.