I Love Shawn Marion

Yes MSG has a son, Yes RPG.  And while he is a talkative kid, like many 3.5 year old boys, he is limited in his affection.  Essentially not providing enough hugs, kisses and “I Love You’s” to satisfy his mommy.  But the other night we are sitting around and I bring up ESPN.com and it has a picture of Shawn Marion, (erstwhile) Toronto Raptor, on the home page.

Yes RPG: “Who is that daddy?”

Yes MSG: “Shawn Marion of the Raptors.”

Yes RPG: “I love Shawn Marion.”

Well then.  If Shawn Marion, aka The Matrix, is worthy of my son’s affection, then Yes MSG is obligated to break down the trade for his loyal reader.

Now remember, in the NBA trades are not normal.  They are done for salary cap, trade exemption, expiring contracts, but rarely for on the court value.  To use a school lunch playground example:

It is never: I will trade you my peanut butter and jelly sandwich for your corn dog.

It is always: I will trade you my corn dog and a snack to be named later to you, if you give Jimmy your 25 cents bus money, and he can then get home, and on Friday, bring me a dessert.  I will then trade the future dessert rights to Becky in exchange for a kiss on the cheek for me, and her soccer ball for you.  OK?

But let me try to break down the Marion trade simply:

Toronto:

Gives: Shawn Marion, Kris Humphries, Nathan Jawai, Cash $$$

Gets: Hedo Turkoglu (the Free Agent Signing becomes a Sign and Trade, enabling them to potentially resign Carlos Delfino), Devean George and Antoine Wright

Dallas:

Gives: (Marion a 5 year $39M deal, which is far less than the $17+M he made last year; hope he can feed his family); Jerry Stackhouse and Cash $$$

Gets: Shawn Marion, Kris Humphries, Nathan Jawai, Greg Buckner, Cash $$$

Memphis:

Gives: Greg Buckner

Gets: Jerry Stackhouse, Cash $$$, 2nd round draft pick

Orlando:

Gives: Hedo Turkoglu

Gets: $7M trade exemption since a Sign and Trade and not just a Free Agent loss, Cash $$$

Got it?  So the majority of the trade is Who Cares?  In fact, if not for the fact that The Matrix was my boy’s favorite athlete for 30 seconds I would not have bothered. So to net it all out:

• Cash $$$ was traded the most!
• Toronto will suck less with Hedo than with Shawn and Toronto’s large Turkish population may buy tickets, but will be out of the race by the All Star break
• Orlando gets something — $7M trade exception — which they can use to fill the holes in Vince Carter’s game as he is Hedo’s replacement — they remain competitive in the East
• Dallas gets another soft outside player to go with Dirk and Josh, and, while improved, will not be a factor in the West.

Toronto and Orlando should have gone the Corn Dog for Peanut Butter and Jelly route.

NBA Offseason

Sorry loyal readers.  I have meant to dissect the NBA draft for weeks now, but vacation and a child who refuses to go to bed and allow his father to write caused a delay.  But considering the draft was not that interesting — one “sure” thing in Blake Griffin and the rest a great debate on Ricky Rubio means that adding in the free agent signings makes this more meaty.

But before I begin, I saw that ESPN has a new show about Sports Nation or something, with some attractive blond and Colin Cowherd discussing topics of the day and asking the opinion of the listening public.  You know what I think, if you want to listen/read uninformed opinions from the general public about sports and other topics, then READ MY BLOG!

Now, let’s start with some free agent dealings:

• Jermaine O’Neal of the Heat decided not to become a free agent and to instead accept his $23M option for 2009-10.  Duh!
• Carlos Boozer (the injured one) decided to re-up with Utah and so did Kyle Korver.  Duh!
• Lakers sign Ron Artest.  Big signing.  They lose Ariza but at this stage Artest might be a more impactful player when you are going for a repeat.  They need to sign Odom too.
• Pistons sign Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva.  Who cares.  40 wins tops.
•  ’Sheed signs with the Celtics.  Cavs blew this one, but more on that later.  Doubt that gets the Celts another title as all the main players with the exception of Rajon Rondo are 32+, but does make them more competitive if they can pace themselves and Sheed decides to buy into KG’s program.
• Hedo goes to Toronto.  So he stiffs Portland as his wife wants to live in Toronto.  Will say it is nice to see a player prefer a more international city, or perhaps it was the $3-5M more over 5 years.  Then again, if Hedo went for the money, he is in need of a tax accountant.  As high tax as Oregon is, Canada is higher.  Then again it was perhaps the universal healthcare.  Regardless, Toronto gets moderately better and Orlando gets arguably worse depending on Vinsanity — more on that later.
• Birdman resigns with Denver.  Good to see quirky grad of Blinn JC, who had a drug issue (suspended two years), and who has a hair and tattoo problem get $26M. 
• Nobody wants AI.  Oh well.  Hope his money was in CDs.

And of course the trades:

• Vinsanity to Orlando.  So Vince takes Hedo’s place.  He is more athletic with a more diverse game — good.  Cannot play D (neither can Hedo), rebound or make those around him better, but should be interesting with Rashard and Superman II.  Good risk for Orlando, but considering Vince gets $50M in three years, why not resign Hedo for 5 with the same funds?  Vince not worth it.
• Richard Jefferson to the Spurs.  Still figure the Spurs don’t have enough to overtake the Lakers (with Odom), but getting RJ to spell/help Ginobili, Timmay and Mr. Longoria in place of the ancients sent to Milwaukee was a smart, last ditch effort.  Great trade; will not be enough.
• Shaq to the Cavs.  As I wrote before, I love this trade as it will make for an exciting Eastern Conference race.  Shaq is too old and fat, even if he were motivated, to make the difference in my opinion.  He can, however, play D on Dwight Howard, unlike the corpses that were Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Ben Wallace.  So great sideshow as we all hope for a Lakers-Cavs (Kobe v Shaq/LeBron).  Normally Yes MSG wants the underdog, but I admit that this final would be great.  And it would even happen ifThe Cavs got another outside scorer for LeBron.  Say, Richard Jefferson or Ron Artest or even Sheed.  Someone who poses a matchup problem, can play defense (Artest at least) or do a variety of things.  No way Bron, Shaq and Mo Williams get the job done.  Any hope of keeping Bron relies on winning a title in 2010, hence the Shaq trade, as that had better be a one-year deal.  But Danny Ferry better be a better GM than player and get a wing soon.

Now on to the draft.  Isn’t it amazing that with all the basketball players coming out each year that there is only 1 guy considered a possibility for stardom.  Obviously, some other players are going to do well, etc. however, I still think it wild that it is Blake and your Pupu platter.  Then again, with only 360 active players on roster, competition is tight.  Then again, when Sean Marks in on the Hornets, it is confounding that more guys don’t make an impact

1. Clippers – Blake Griffin.  Appears to be the athletic real deal.  Will come down with a rare form of ecoli wiping out his rookie season as he does play for the Clippers.
2. Grizzlies – Hasheem Thabeet.  First Tanzanian to play in the NBA.  Should have lots of opportunities to block shots, which is good, considering that is his only skill.
3. Thunder – James Harden.  Awesome beard.  Perhaps a good complement for Kevin Durant too, but that is second to the beard.
4. Kings – Tyreke Evans.  So they sign Beno Udrih for a ridiculous $30+m to play point, then draft a one-and-done to play point even though he is not a natural distributor and is kind of a ball hog.  Hmmmm?  That robbery by the refs against the Lakers in 2002 still haunts this franchise.  Hello Las Vegas.
5. Wolves – Ricky Rubio.  People are split on his skill, but he is an exciting pick with lots of upside.  Of course, not a good sign that his first comment about Minneapolis was that his mom thought it cold.  Expect him to stay in Spain while he negotiates his buyout from both Joventut (Spanish team) and the Wolves.
6. Wolves – Jonny Flynn.  Rubio insurance.
7. Warriors – Stefan Curry.  Cannot wait to see how Don Nelson misuses and destroys this promising rookie a la C-Webb, Brandon Wright, Anthony Parker, etc.  Please fire Don; he is a lame duck anyway.
8. Knicks – Jordan Hill.  They wanted Curry.  Hill is David Lee insurance.
9. Raptors – DeMar DeRozan.  DeMost interesting pick by a Canadian team.
10. Bucks – Brandon Jennings.  Could not qualify for US College, went to Italy, did little, says Rubio is overrated, has a sweet hairdo.  Think Kid n Play.  Bucks will suck less with him, but not saying much for the franchise that selected Andrew Bogut, Yian Jianlian and even Big Dog Robinson with 1st round picks.
11. Nets – Terrence Williams.  Anyone who wears Sponge Bob clothes around campus has the maturity to be an excellent NBA player.
12. Bobcats – Gerald Henderson.  His dad stole the ball from Worthy in 1984 to save the series for the Celts against the Lakers.  That will be Gerald’s legacy too.
13. Pacers – Tyler Hansbrough.  I like his energy and dedication, but at #130, not 13.  Really Larry Bird, this is the best you can do at 13.  Take a flyer on someone from the Congo.  A 12th man is not what keeps the Pacers from the title.  Of course, all the recent reports about whether the “Pacers are too white” being discussed on ESPN are pretty funny.  So thanks for that Tyler.
14. Suns – Earl Clark.  Rep for not giving 100% in college; that translates well to the NBA.
15. Pistons – Austin Daye.  First of all, I remember his dad, Darren, at UCLA, so f-u for making me feel old.  Second, 6′ 10″ and 190lbs.
16. Bulls – James Johnson.  Read that with all the James and Johnsons that have played in the NBA, this is the first James Johnson.  Will be his legacy.
17. 76ers – Jrue Holiday.  Heralded recruit out of high school.  Did nothing in college.  Considering the teaching that takes place in the NBA, hope he majored in Turkish.
18. Wolves – Ty Lawson.  Wolves want to ensure that no one has any point guards – that is their strategy.  OK, they traded him to Denver.  Will be interesting to compare his successful career but supposed limited upside, with Jrue, who did nothing but has ‘more’ upside.
19. Hawks – Jeff Teague.  Another Wake player which speaks well to the Deamon Deacon underachievement last year.
20. Jazz – Eric Maynor.  Beat Duke in NCAAs two years ago.  Enough for me to like this pick a lot.
21. Hornets – Darren Collison.  Um, well, I….who cares; pick 21.
22. Trailblazers – Victor Claver.  Never heard of him, and no point in reading about him now as the only reader who made it this far is me, the author.
23. Kings – Omri Casspi.  First Israeli taken in first round.  Doubles Jewish population of Sacramento.
24. Mavericks – BJ Mullens.  Spent one uneventful year at Ohio State.  Will be a towel waver in Oklahoma City, where he was traded.
25. Thunder – Rodrigue Beaubois. Call this the Tony Parker pick.  Speaks French, may be Tony (or Frederic Weis).
26. Bulls – Taj Gibson.  Hope he is good enough to be worthy of the coming Taj Mahal nickname.
27. Grizzlies – DeMarre Carrol.  Has his work cut out to be better than DeMar DeRozan, who has him by two capital letters.
28. Wolves — Wayne Ellington.  After four first rounders, I am too tired to comment.
29. Lakers – signed Artest and need to sign Odom, so drafted Toney Douglas and sent him to the Knicks, where he will carry Lebron’s bags in 2010.
30. Cavs – Christian Eyenga.  I actually think he is from COngo.  Pacers should have taken him.

Second Round.

OK, kidding!

Winners of Combined 18 Majors Unite to Lose US Open

Tiger Woods (14 Majors), Phil Mickelson (3 Majors) and David Duval (1 Major) all combined to shoot a bunch of last nine bogies and lose the US Open to Lucas Glover. 

Poor Mr. Glover, not only did he prevent the deified Mr. Woods from climbing within 3 of Jack, but he also deprived Phil Mickelson from getting a much desired 4th Major that the entire gallery wanted due to his 4 second place finishes and his wife’s battle with cancer.  And he deprived Mr. Duval from winning his second major an entire decade after winning his first.  Since that 1999 British Victory, DD as he is known, seems to have seen the game pass him by, which is not something that could be said for any Dunkin Donuts.  Mr. Duval obviously never let one of those pass by.

Heck, Mr. Glover was not even the most famous Glover on Monday.  La ‘Roi Glover decided to call it quits after 13 years in the NFL.  While La ‘Roi might not be that well known, he was certainly more well known than Lucas.

So Lucas win also prevented Duval (ranked 800+) and Ricky Barnes (ranked 519th) from being the biggest losers to ever win a major.  Not only that, but a victory by Mr. Barnes would at least have crowned someone who could give Tiger a run for his money at the Gun Show.  For some reason, this tournament was full of doughboys.  Mickelson and Duval remind me of the golfers in the 70s (or is that in their 70s?) and Glover, while thin, never lifted a weight in his life. 

Now the tournament ended up being fairly exciting, but what I most appreciate is how the network makes it all about Tiger and Phil (with a dash of DD thrown in). 

Sample coverage –

Tiger is 8 down, so he really needs to make a run.  At the turn I think he will go light on the mayonaisse and stick to more brain foods on his pastrami and rye.  He really cannot afford a food coma this late in the tourney. (Oh, Glover just eagled 8 with a 240 yard 8 iron).

Did you hear that Phil got a new Escalade?  With the three kids and family in town, he really could not afford the luxury of a hybrid; he needed something more functional.  (Barnes just gacked again, and is now shooting like a club assistant pro.  Shades of Greg Norman.)

Duval, despite his girth, has not changed sunglasses in 10 years.  Still uses those wraparounds, and they look good.  Oh wait, Tiger just called Elin to check on Sam, who has a bit of a cold.  You can see Sam on the Tiger cam we have set up on www.AllTigerAllTheTime.com, otherwise known as www.PGATour.com. Anyway, Duval must have an endorsement deal with the manufacturer, even though they date back in style to the era of Dolphin Shorts.  Good thing for us Duval does not have a deal for those (Ross Hunter just beat a spectator with his sand wedge).

Now back to the action, Ricky and Lucas…..oh wait, let’s go to commercial break so that Flomax, Cialis and Depends can pay for all these Tiger Cams.

But there was one rather amusing financial point to this story.  Despite the fact that Ricky Barnes gave up what will be his only opportunity to be Rich Beem or Shawn Mickeel, and not John Cook, Kenny Perry or Chris DiMarco, he did make $500K on the day, which was equal to 700% of what he had earned this year.  2nd in the US Open, and a $500K payout — still not a bad day’s work.

Real Madrid

Yes MSG went all the way to Madrid, as stated in my last post, to investigate the transfer of Cristiano Ronaldo from ManU to Real Madrid, for $131M.  However, I had to do this on the back of a business trip.  Unfortunately, in the 80 hours I was gone, I spent 40 of them traveling and 40 “in” Madrid.  I write “in” because for some reason technology companies love to be outside major cities in non-descript business parks away from anything interesting, including the Bernabeu.  So I was unable to see how Madrid was justifying the transfer, although I did read in the local paper that the Club had taken out $300M in loans, such as charging 150 Euros for a Jersey.

However, not to let my readers down, I can at least provide some entertaining travel notes, and a couple good sports at the end.  So here goes:

• Baggage Claim: What is it with baggage claim at airports?  Worldwide, people love to crowd right up to the conveyor with their carts.  Um, how is this efficient?  This means that no one else can approach and get their bag without fighting the masses.  And for the morons waiting, undoubtedly they are so close with the carts because they overpacked, so that when the bag comes, they can barely lift it.  Subsequently, they cannot even leave the area because all of their like minded lemmings have blocked all exit routes.  Einsteins, wouldn’t it be more efficient if everyone waited about a meter or so away from the conveyor and then collected their bag when it appeared?  Yes, I think so.  Man this pi$$es me off.
• Belts and Shoes: Why in the USA do we have to remove shoes, but in Europe we have to remove our belts?  Seriously, shouldn’t it be both or neither?  Now I don’t know if I should ensure that my socks are clean and without holes or that my pants actually fit.  Having recently lost about 4kg, I was afraid I was going to look like a gangbanger when passing through security in Madrid.  Fortunately, I was not wearing my European thong underwear.
• Airline Rows: Am I missing something?  I was on a 737 — you know, one aisle, 3 seats a side — from Madrid to Amsterdam when 3, THREE, people asked the flight attendant where row 25 (or similar) was.  Really?  Um, there is a single aisle, and the numbers are ascending, not random.  I half expected the flight attendant to say “go to row 17, turn left, open the (emergency) exit.”  Or, “where the heck do you think it is?  We have a single aisle in this plane.  What was I thinking when I decided to pursue a career that resulted in cheap travel.  Shoot me now!”

Norman Mailer recently died, and Mark Kriegel wrote an excellent article.  Here is my favorite part of the article as it shows what a great writer he was and this was boxing, not even his ’specialty.’

Then there was this, also from The Presidential Papers, about the death of Benny “Kid” Paret at the hands of Emile Griffith in Madison Square Garden: “He hit him eighteen right hands in a row, an act that took perhaps three or four seconds, Griffith making a pent-up whimpering sound all the while he attacked, the right hand whipping like a piston rod which has broken out of the crankcase, or like a baseball bat demolishing a pumpkin. I was sitting in the second row of that corner — they were not ten feet away from me — and like everyone else, I was hypnotized…

And with father day upon us, DJ Gallo provides some excellent advice for all of us with sons and daughters. The article is here, but allow me to provide a sample.

Front-running = grounded. No one likes a front-runner. No one. But how does a person become a front-runner? It’s simple. Bad parenting. Their parents let them get away with it once thinking it was a passing, childish dalliance. But soon enough, their children were switching allegiances with every trophy ceremony. If you give an inch on this as a parent, you’ll soon have a child who roots for the Lakers, Penguins, Phillies, Steelers, North Carolina and Florida; you’ll soon have a child who will grow up to be a … I can’t say the word, but the second syllable rhymes with “bag.” In fact, the second syllable is “bag.” Be open with your child when it comes to front-running. Tell them you understand the allure. And use your own life as an example. “You think there weren’t better options out there than your mother at times? That I could have gotten with hotter women — you know, had they been drunk enough? But I stayed loyal. And it resulted in your birth. So by liking the Lakers, you are essentially killing yourself. Think about it.”

Happy Father’s Day, and if you are travelling, please give everyone some space at the Baggage Claim.

Spanning the Globe

The Lakers have just made a liar of Yes MSG by winning in 5, not 6.  Of course, if Jameer could play defense above the 3 pt line, or Dwight could hit free throws, I would have been correct.  Now, this game will be analyzed ad nauseumby everyone, so other than a few short points, I will move on to other topics especially since I go to Spain tomorrow to investigate the Real Madrid – Cristiano Ronaldo deal.

• OK, regardless of how 3 games really pivoted on single plays, 4-1 is 4-1.  Orlando might have stretched the series back to LA, but no way you say that if “Courtney hits the layup” or “Fish misses the 3″ and Orlando wins the title.  Nope.
• Kobe’s legacy is even more secure.  Sure, I still hold that this Lakers team would not have beaten any of the last title holders, but hey, they only get to play who they get to play; not Kobe’s fault.  And winning as the lead dog is more special.  So Kobe is now cemented as the second best shooting guard after Michael; which, is significant when you compare that with his legacy prior to this series when he was considered, oh wait, the second best shooting guard behind Michael.  Nevermind.
• Magic Johnson’s coat — am I the only one watching ESPN – what is Magic Johnson wearing.

Ok, let’s move on to other items in the hoop world:

• Staying with Hoop, supposedly the Cavs are interested in Shaq in a trade for Ben Wallace corpse, and Sasha Pavlovic, since every team needs a Slavic player who can hit at times a 3.  Or at least sport a greasy hairstyle that would make any Argentinean Soccer Player proud.
• However, how does this help the Cavs?  This is a one-year, win the title, keep Lebron Hail Mary pass.   I guess Shaq could somewhat defend Dwight Howard by himself, mainly because Dwight has no moves.  But can he defned KG and the rest of the Boston front line?  I doubt it.  This deal would end in disappointment
• Nevertheless, I would LOVE, absolutely love, a 2010 Finals between Kobe and Lebron/Shaq.  That would be EPIC.  And seeing that I have no financial interest in the Cavs, I say do the trade.
• Ricky Rubio.  For those of you unfamiliar with the most famous Spanish athlete after Rafael Nadal, Rubio is the 18 year old point guard for the Spanish National Team (that won the Silver in Beijing) and Joventut in the Spanish league.  Well, Joventut is hurting for cash, so has reportedly sold Rubio’s contract to the Spanish of the IRS so that the government gets the buy-out of Rubio’s contract, which he has to do in order to play in the NBA as the expected 2nd pick in the draft later this month.  The IRS!  And people complain about the US Government bailing out AIG and owning GM.  I would prefer they had bought the Sonics.

And non-hoop items:

• The Stanley Cup.  For those of you who missed it, Pittburgh went into Detroit and won a game 7, 2-1, when Niklas Lidstrom’s literally last second shot was blocked by the Pens Fleury to preserve the win.  Amazing game, and makes me wish I had watched more than 60 minutes of hockey this season.  Also of note, this was the first game 7 victory on the road for a team in ANY sport since the Pittsburgh (again) Pirates in 1979 against the Baltimore Orioles.  This was the first in Hockey since the Habs (Montreal) over the Chicago Blackhawks in 1971.  More impressive, Pittsburgh has played in 5 or 6 road game 7s in its history and won them all.  That is right, ALL of them.  Wow.
• Megan Fox and Carrie Prejean.  One is an ‘actress’ from the Transformer movies, who recently said that she hoped to become a good actress someday;  the other is the recently dethroned Ms. California, who claims she lost her crown because she is against Gay Marriage.  Now I am not here to make a political statement, I just want to be the first to start their race for Cinemax stardom, as I know we are all united in our hopes for that outcome.
  
• Boston Red Sox v NY Yankees — Boston has not lost in 8 games against NY this year, so not really worth mentioning.
• Beirut:  The March 14 coalition of western leading parties soundly defeated Hezbollah
• Tehran: Ahmadinejad defeats more reformist candidate Moussavi in Iranian elections, but could result in a recount, annulment, civil war.  Stay tuned.
• Real Madrid: As mentioned at the beginning of the post, I have to head to Madrid since the soccer club Real Madrid just bought the rights to Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo for $131 MILLION DOLLARS.  That is the fee just to talk to Cristiano.  Sort of like the $52M posting fee Boston paid to negotiate with Dice-K.  Oh, and this was on top of the $92M that Real Madrid paid for Kaka, ex of Inter-Milan.  So that is $223M dollars just to negotiate. Heck the Yankees paid $180M to Teixeira, $160M to Sabathia, and $80M to Burnett, but that was the contractual value; the fee to negotiate was ZERO.  Euro soccer is crazy!

Hasta Luego!

Yes MSG

G(Auntie E)M

The title, for those for whom it was too subtle, speaks to the optimistic outlook for our car industry; although Fritz Henderson may need more than a pair of Red Slippers and to click the heels three times to return GM to Kansas, I mean, profitability.

Now I know that we are looking at a Game 7 in the NHL Finals (really, we are.  Trust me, Detroit v Pittsburgh.  No kidding, Friday night.) And the NBA Finals will go at least 5 games; and the Yanks still have yet to beat the Red Sox, but this GM saga is really one of the most real world fascinating events going on today, and for the next few years.

Think back a few months.  GM, and the rest, like Chrysler (will get to them later) were hemorrhaging cash by the minute.  Were they too big to fail?  Should the government jump in?  Can they avoid bankruptcy? 

And consider the options that Obama had:

1. Let GM go bankrupt on its own; put, potentially, 100s of thousands out of work
2. Attempt to save GM with an influx of cash, but take no ownership sake to ensure the Government does not try to pick winners.  (This approach was criticized by everyone from Paul Krugman to Yes MSG — he had to have a say if he were going to spend our money on a million Chevy Malibus)
3. Attempt to save GM with an influx of cash, and take an ownership sake.  (This approach is being criticized by all who point out that the government has no experience in the industry, and will have a conflict of interest.)

Now look at the above.  #3 was the only option wasn’t it?  I, in general, would not favor bailing out a company that had made poor decisions over a 30 year period, watching its market share go from around 45 to 19.  But considering the fragile state of the economy, and wanting to keep MY job, you have to adjust your principles.  A private bankruptcy was too big a risk.  #2 was not really an option either.  If we, the taxpayer, are going to invest in these companies, then we should have a say.  Heck, the government cannot be any less qualified than the average (none could be considered good) GM exec.

However, the investment has already created conflicts that make this option, albeit the best, likely to fail too.  First of all, who do you get to run the company?  Obama picked Steven Rattner, ex-NYT columnist and Private Equity magnate.  Sure he is smart, but running a car company?  However, this is the least of the worries.

The President wants GM to make small, fuel efficient cars.  Probably a good idea for many reasons, but not based on market data.  Yet that is not the worst of it.

Now Congress is weighing in.  535 men and women with no discernible expertise in anything but bloviating, all trying to save their local interest in GM.  Now that is a recipe for disaster.  Plants have to close, people will lose jobs, and it CAN happen in your district.  Sorry.  And this does not even mention the members of Congress who will defend the UAW to the potential detriment of GM’s profitability.

I am sure the HBS class of 2015 will be reading about the outcome of this experiment in Government (Forced) Nationalization.

Now before I forget, the Supreme Court has stayed the acquistion of Chrysler by Fiat due to a law suit from some pension funds.  Seems these pension funds believe that they are gettign a raw deal and could have done better. 

Um, what?

The company was going to go bankrupt; not a controlled bankruptcy with the support of the government.  You don’t think Cerberus Capital, with its brain trust that includes Ex Treasury Secretary John Snow, and Ex-VP San Quayle, and Ex-CEO Bob Nardelli, did not look for a deal to recoup their $3B or whatever investment?

Plus, how many companies are looking to buy a company that has three interesting episodes in its history:

1. Invented the Minivan (the scourge of fathers worldwide)
2. Copied the Bentley to create the under $30K version, known as the 300
3. Gave us the K-car

Gee, where do I sign!

Please, I know it is rather embarrassing when an Italian Car Company is your savior, but you have to accept reality.

Grazie!

There is no E-S-P-N in Federer (ok, there is an “E”)

Yes MSG decided to take advantage of the nice weather and spend time with the son, as well as entertain friends.  So my entire Sports Sunday consisted of SportsCenter. 

Now I knew that Roger Federer just tied Pete Sampras record of 14 Grand Slams, as well as becoming just the 6th man in HISTORY to win all four Grand Slams in a CAREER. 

I also saw that the Lakers effectively sealed the 2009 NBA Title by outlasing Orlando in OT for a 2-0 series lead. 

Lastly, in his final tune up before the 2009 US Open golf tournament at Bethpage Black, Tiger storms back from 4 down heading into Sunday, and wins the Memorial by a stroke.

Now obviously Federer’s accomplishment is the most impressive.  Effectively sealing his (arguable) title as finest tennis player of all time.  Career Grand Slam record, all four Slam titles under his belt.  Yet, as expected, ESPN led with about 20 minutes of observation on Game 2 of the NBA Finals.  (Note, interesting that the missed layup by Courtney Lee, that would have resulted in a win, cost Orlando the title.  Whatever hope they had, went down the drain with that miss and loss.  Now way they sweep at home, so we are back in LA, maybe, for a game 6 closeout as predicted by Yes MSG.)  Tennis is not a big deal in the States, and Federer is not American (he is Swiss).  OK, but I figure it will come second.  It does not.

You know what does?

No, not Tiger.

Brett f’ing Favre.  I guess he had surgery a couple of weeks ago on his shoulder, in preparation for possibly playing for Minnesota.  BFD.  And this story went on.  Including a report by Ed Werder.  Really?  This story is more important the the final of a tennis Grand Slam?  Or even the overexposed Tiger Woods?  Goodell must be psyched.

Tiger did follow this story with a long recap of everything he did: great chip from the rough for Eagle, ham sandwich at the turn, #1 bathroom break after 14.  Not enough Elin though.  Heck, even if she weren’t there, can’t we get footage of her at home, doing laundy?

Finally, they give a cursory highlights and mention to Federer, then move on to the Braves’ game.  Wow,  we are really that parochial as a sports audience.

Again, at least throw in more Elin Nordegren

Lakers in Six

The title says it all.  I really want the Magic.  Heck, I wanted Magic – Nuggets.  After all, I was the one who called the Cleveland LeBrons pretenders on May 5th — really, look it up.  And part of my take is the fact that I cannot stand the Lakers, so figure they will win it just to spite me.  However, there is some logic there too.

If you recall my Epsilon Dog post below (one that was mimicked by Michael Wilbon on one of the NBA programs I have heard), I believe this is where the Lakers have the advantage.  You are drafting in the playground, in what order do you choose the players:

1. Adonal Foyle — Magic (OK kidding)
2. Kobe – LA
3. Dwight – Orl
4. Pau – LA
5. Hedo – Orl
6. Rashard – Orl
7. Lamar – LA
8. Ariza – LA
9. Pietrus – Orl
10. Bynum – LA
11. Fisher – LA

LA takes six of the Top Ten.  But it is more than this, it is matchups.  Cleveland only had the corpses of Big Men to guard Hedo and Rashard outside.  LA has Kobe, Ariza and Odom, not to mention Pau in a pinch.  They also have Bynum down low.  That means more contested 3s from Rashard and Hedo.  Since Orlando lives and dies with the three, a risky strategy in the best of times, this will cost them.

Now I expect Dwight to abuse Bynum down low, to the extent that he cries the entire off season, takes his $68M contract, and is never a force again.  However, Pau will abuse either Rashard or Hedo, meaning that Dwight will have to play him a lot.  Can you say “foul trouble”?

Then there is Kobe.  Who on Orlando guards him?  I like Courtney Lee, but don’t see that working.  Dwight cannot play Kobe outside, and the only “D” that Rashard and Hedo know is when they sign their names on checks. 

LA is vulnerable at the point, but Rafer Alston is not consistent enough to take advantage.  Now if Chris Paul were on Orlando, but he is not. 

Finally, the pressure is on LA, but I think they respond; Orlando is playing with house money and are just happy to be there.  Probably subconsciously figure the east is theirs for years — not true as Hedo bolts this summer, but that is another column.

Anyway, LA has a couple of stinkers in it, with no show Bynum, and disappearing Odom.  And Orlando will have a game where they miss nothing from 20 feet, but that only happens twice.  And with the 2-3-2, Lakers just need to win their two at home as one win in Orlando is almost guaranteed.  Coming back home for 2 chances to win one, they close it out, to my grand disappointment, and win in Six.

Of course, the subsequent question is what this means to Kobe’s legacy.  With a title sans Shaq, does he vault a level?  Sure, but a few points are overlooked in this argument:

• Shaq won his 4th title less with Dwyane Wade (sic) and more because of the MOST ATROCIOUS OFFICIATING I have seen.  Wade got every call, even 30ft from the basket.  It was so egregious that I stopped watching it.  (This, of course, parallels the game 6 win over Sacto by Shaq/Kobe Lakers in 2001 when LA took 27 free throws in the FOURTH quarter.  So Shaq ahs two and Kobe one title thanks to NBA officiating incompetence.)
• Kobe will have won the title over some seriously weak competition.  Seriously, not his fault, but Houston without McGrady and Yao, the Nuggets, and a 3 point shooting Magic hardly constitute the Knicks, Pacers, Jazz, etc teams that MJ contended with.  This Laker squad benefits from the fact that San Antonio is old as the Spurs of a few years ago would have swept them.  Who guards Duncan?  And Bowen always gets under Kobe’s skin.  Anyway, Kobe gets his title, but in a weak league year.

Let me know how I did in a few days.  My satellite provider is in a fight with the local ABC affiliate so I will not watch any games (or any NHL Stanley Cup Finals too as I don’t have Versus), and I am not certain if there are other ways of keeping up with sports.  Will Kobe twitter during the games?

But this will allow me to read up more on GM, my next big blog treatise.

Go Magic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wide World of Sports

Yes MSG is spanning the globe.  After all, there is more than enough time to break down Kobe-Hedo I.  Plus, I have to wait for Nike to update its Most Valuable Puppets.  So with that in mind, let’s take in a few more sporting items from around the world.

• French Open:  4x defending Champ Rafael Nadal actually lost to some guy named Robin Soderling.  his first lost in 33 matches at Rolland Garros.  Along with Djokavic’ loss, this tournament is Federer’s to lose.  Admittedly, him completing the career Grand Slam with Nadal out is sort of like, say, the Lakers winning the NBA title against some pretenders like the Orlando Magic, but I guess it still counts.  See if Roger can put it together.
• FA Cup:  Everton, despite scoring a goal in the first 25 seconds (no, that is not a typo), and having American Tim Howard in goal, fell to Billionairre Russian Roman Obramovich’s Chelsea side 2-1.  Too bad.
• Champions’ League: But all was not lost as Barcelona (the Blaugrana), despite missing 3/4ths of its best defenders due to injury or suspension, absolutely DOMINATED Manchester United in the Champions’ League final 2-0.  It was totally sweet, unless you are from Manchester, or a complete soccer front runner, meaning you are the equivalent of most Yankee fans.
• NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Final: Sure, I pay no attention to this sport, but the final was as dramatic as the final of the Frozen Four (in that final, perennial powerhouse Boston U was losing by two goals, but scored twice in the last 1:21 or so to tie it, then won in overtime.  Miami of Ohio was the victim.)  Well, in Lacrosse, Syracuse is a powerhouse, Jim Brown played there.  They were losing in the last 20 seconds, but intercepted a ball and scored with 4 seconds to go; won it in overtime.  The Big Red of Cornell will have to take solace in firing all the Syracuse guys from their jobs in ten years.
• Basketball: I am contractualy obligated to mention that the WNBA starts in June (I think).
• Softball: ESPN is subjecting me to Women’s Softball.  Who has the tractor pull rights?  Universal?  Versus?  A lot of people, Yes MSG included, complain about Women’s sports.  Not that they should not play them, just that they are not as enjoyable to watch.  When the discrepancy and how the game is played is SOOOOOO dramatically obvious, I find it painful.  Basketball tops the list.  No, I don’t think I am better than Cynthia Cooper, and I appreciated Jennifer Azzi and Dawn Staley as much as anyone, but the game is ugly and played so far BELOW the rim.  Now why am I harping on Hoop in the Softball section?  Because softball is the same but more egregious.  First off all, there is the mini-field.  So the women pitch from a 45 foot mound, making them all throw the equivalent of 90+ MPH.  Unfortunately, while major leaguers who can hit a 90 MPH pitch are a dime a dozen (college too), there seem to be four women that can do so.  So we end up with tons of 1-0 games, no hitters, 20 strikeouts, etc.  BORING.  Would a 5-3 match kill the sport?  Moreover, what is it with the extra innings and starting each 1/2 inning with a runner on second.  I need not say more.
• Late Night Talk Shows (hey, if Spelling Bees and Golf are sports, so is this):  So Jay Leno is ‘leaving’ The Tonight Show.  Conan O’Brien is ‘leaving’ Late Night with Conan O’Brien.  Am I the only one that does not see anyone ‘leaving’ anything and just moving timeslots?  So Jay will be on at 10pm, the news at 11pm, and Conan now at 11:30 instead of 12: 30.  Seems to be that Jay is still doing the Tonight Show, and Conan is just doing Earlier Late Night with Conan O’Brien.  Hardly the impactful boob tube impact of say 1) Broadcast Television; 2) Tivo; 3) Nudity on Cable.  Just sayin’. (Craigbe?  Care to Comment?)
• College Sports: I put this under a generic heading, and it actually warrants its own column, but I was thinking that some of today’s professional athletes should not go back to school AS PROFESSORS:

Kenyon Martin, Professor of English, University of Cincinnati:  ”I ain’t never known nobody apology to someone through other people.”  “Me and my mom ain’t going to lose no sleep if we don’t talk to Mark Cuban.”

James Harrison, Professor of Philosophy and Logic, Kent State:  Mr. Harrison did not attend the White House Party for the Super Bowl Champion Steelers because he felt slighted.  Seems he figured Obama would have invited the Arizona Cardinals had they won the Super Bowl.  Um, well, you see…….Of course, Mr. Harrison previously taught a class on Etiquette, as he had been convicted of hitting his girlfriend, and has recently been attempting to receive tenure in Animal Husbandry since his pit bull attacked his two year old.  Good thing the guy can run an interception back as that halftime clock expires.

• Search: New Playah in the Game.  Scroogle — nah!  Bing it!

Check back later for the breakdown of Kobe-Hedo I.

The NBA is Craptastic

These NBA Playoffs are now horrible.  Really, the quality of play is so poor.  Lebron v Orlando is painful to watch.  And the Lakers – Nuggets series with each team trading poor performances is not exactly bringing back memories of 1980s Celts-Lakers, or even 2008 Celts-Cavs.

First of all, all the pundits are talking about how this Lebron team is disappointing; how this upset could happen.  What?  See my two posts below, one from a month ago almost, talking about how Lebron’s team is basically him and that if it actually won the title, it would be the weakest champion of all time.  Yes MSG ahead of Barkley et al.

The Epsilon Dog

It’s LeBron and it’s Not Debatable

Actually, you can extend this to all four semi-finalists.  Michael Cooper, defensive stopper from the 80s Lakers (and current WNBA coach, but we will not discuss that), was interviewed recently, and when asked if this version of the Lakers could beat his version, his response was hilarious.  Kindly stated, but basically his response was:

What?  No way!  We had Kareem, Magic, Worthy.  Who and how would they guard that?

He is right.  All these teams are super-flawed.  Heck, Orlando can win it because it has two 6′ 10″ guys who can shoot threes (they cannot post up or rebound, but that does not matter if you go against Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom).

Lebron’s team is weak, as stated previously.

The Nuggets are inexperienced and hard to root for in a way.  Love Chauncey Billups, and Melo, but Kenyon Martin and JR Smith are despicable.  If you watched Lakers-Nuggest game 4, I could not believe the attitude.  First of all, indefensible fouls commited, and technicals.  Those cost them game 3, and could have cost them game 4.  I don’t like Kobe, but he will make them all pay in Game 5 at Staples.  Furthermore, these guys strut after hitting some threes, and ‘laugh’ when called for T’s.  Grow up guys or you will blow the series.  No one ever won a 7 game series in 4 games when you have already lost one at home.  So you hit some threes and do the chicken dance?  What a bunch of tools (fools)!

And the Lakers have Kobe and hope someone else fills in.  Still soft, although I think Gasol gets a bad rap as he never was going to bring toughness.  I still figure the Lakers beat the Nuggets in Game 7; then it really depends.  If they get Orlando, they may have trouble.  If they get the LeBrons, they win in 6.

Kobe could end up being vindicated by winning a title with no-Shaq, but again, the team that wins this year is going to be, in the words of Roger Clemens, misremebered, if remembered at all.

There is one difference though, I think the Lakers have to win this year or the window closes.  The other three have next year, especially Orlando and Denver.

In summary, maybe the fact that Dish Network is not showing ABC (current contractual disagreement) is not such a bad thing.