OKC (Not) Sonics!

For those of you not from the North East, you may not be aware that the city of Seattle, as well as the state of Washington, just went minor league.  Actually worse.  The Sonics will be leaving Seattle — home of Boeing, Microsoft, Starbucks (we will get to that), beautiful water, two mountain ranges, etc., for Oklahoma City — Okla-f’ing-home City.

Now before I rip OKC and the whole deal, I will turn the blog over to my man, GB, who has family ties to Oklahoma and is a Sooner through and through.  GB’s take:

Don’t rip OKC…here’s my take:

Of course Bennett never wanted to keep the team here…That’s the whole reason they had the “best efforts for 1 year clause” in the contract.  That clause was window dressing to try to salvage Schultz’s local image.  But Schultz had tried for years.  Local business icon couldn’t get the City or State to move an inch….so you’d have to be insane to believe for a minute that even the most heroic efforts by the out of town group were going to make any difference whatsoever…and Bennett dutifully went through the motions he was required to go through, ran into the same brick wall that Schultz ran into and got their team.

The villains here are

1.      Schultz, who took the money the Okies were offering and then tried to feign surprise when they wanted to leave.  He knew exactly what was happening but wanted the extra $$ they were offering.  He sold his reputation in this city for a few extra million.

2.      Gregoire, who basically demonstrated zero leadership and just washed her hands of the whole matter.  Her quote yesterday:”Now it’s time for the state Legislature to get to work.”  Huh?  NOW?  How about two years ago?  Great work, Christine.

3.      Nickels, who acted like he had the upper hand throughout and that the Sonics staying or leaving made no difference to the City

4.      Licata and his ilk in the City Council that thinks investing in the city  is a bad thing since it might actually help someone who isn’t homeless (or god forbid, provide a job selling peanuts to a homeless person)

The short sighted politicians (and much of the voting public in Seattle) will soon realize that spending money on a building that would benefit the city far beyond the cost of the building is just a good investment.  It actually pays for itself and enables spending on their precious projects to run streetcars to nowhere, house drunks, and ensure that city parks can be peacefully used to shoot heroin.

But when Seattle Center is a ghost town next winter, and business receipts are down all around that area, and Key Arena is a giant crack den, they’ll discover it cost more than the investment in the building would have been.  It’s not “tax $$ for millionaires”.  It’s a business partnership with millionaires.  The millionaires make money, the city makes money, everyone is happy…  Could have been.

So rip OKC because their voters are stupid to vote for money for their arena to help the fat cat millionaires?  Are they stupid, or do they understand investment a lot better than Seattle.  Seems like Seattle is only getting it too late.  Though I doubt they get it yet.  Nothing will happen.  The contingent money will never come and Key Arena will look like the viaduct in a few years.

I think that says it all, or at least most of it.  Agree that the blame STARTS with Howard Schultz.  Howie, you are already a billionaire; you cannot wait for a local offer even if less money? And how can anyone be surprised that Clay Bennett, who had brought the Hornets to OKC after Katrina, wanted to bring the Sonics to OKC. 

Unlike GB, I don’t forgive Bennett.  He is a carpetbagger and a disreputable bum, but it is not like his motives were not obvious to Schultz, the city of Seattle and the State legislature.  But seeing that most of this was covered by my midwest correspondent, I will go on to the more pressing topic of comparing the current NBA cities.

So I am a free agent, and can play anywhere, where do I go? (Yes, I know that money, division, where I went to college all plays a part, but this is a blog read by fewer than 50 people, give me some artistic license.)

Eastern Conference

• Boston: Hmm, 17 titles, KG — I would play there
• Detroit: Ummm, ok, well, nice suburbs
• Orlando: No state tax, golf, and Disney
• Cleveland: LeBron
• Washington: Other than the President and Politicians, great city
• Toronto: Multi cultural and much better than OKC, but you know NBA players are afraid of going ‘overseas’
• Philadelphia: Close to NY and DC
• Atlanta:  Two words — Cheetah III
• Indiana: This is actually OKC east
• New Jersey: Close to NY
• Chicago: Great city — MJ’s town
• Charlotte: North Carolina co-ed graduates
• New York: New York
• Milwaukee: Brats and Beer and not far from Chicago
• Miami: South Beach, unbelievable babes, sun and no state tax — should be a top 2 destination

Western Conference

• Los Angeles: California, beach, history, etc
• New Orleans: Beads and Hurricanes
• San Antonio: More charming than you might think, and has Texas babes
• Utah: Hmmm, skiing? 
• Houston: Absolute dump, but has the ‘clubs’ NBA guys like and no state tax
• Phoenix: Like Atlanta west
• Dallas: Bimbo babes and Mark Cuban - perfect for NBA types
• Denver: Kind of a non descript city in some ways, but nicer than OKC
• Golden State: Bay Area, and one hour flight from LA
• Portland: 2 hour flight from LA
• Sacramento: 45 minute flight from SF
• LA Clippers: Second class citizen, but still LA
• Minnnesota: Underrated city with lots of cultural events and tons of formerly scandinavian immigration, so has to be an upgrade on OKC
• Memphis: Music and southern hotties
• OKC: So it is flat, windy, super hot or super cold.  Oh, and it is a football state.  I figure OKC has an advantage on a) Detroit if the player is worried about getting shot; b) Cleveland once LeBron leaves; c) Toronto as NBA guys are geographically challenged; and d) Utah unless the playa went to BYU.  It is equally as desirable as a) Sacto; b) Indiana

So I figure that by the time the honeymoon wears off in OKC, Durant will be gone, along with the others, and Clay Clay will be a loser.  At least I can dream!

Now we just have to hope the Hornets come to Seattle, as I would be psyched to jump on the CP3 bandwagon!

NBA Free Agency

[UPDATE: Since posting just last night, turns out that Baron Davis has (or will) signed with Clippers for 5 years and $65M.  Good for him.  And good for Warriors who were not going to the finals with an almost 30 year old injury prone point guard.  Clippers needed to generate excitement, but deal will likely be regretted in years 3-5.

Also, the Wizards and the Warriors have offered Gilbert Arenas a max deal (6 years, $127M; 5 years, $101M, respectively).  Really? Gilbert is a Max guy?  You really fear the ball in his hands at the end of a tight game?

Finally, reportedly, Andrew Bynum of the Lakers wants the Max extension, which would be $80M.  Hmm, that would be rewarding a 20 year old about $2M per good game played in his career. Due to the economics and the nature of the NBA, I bet he gets it.]

Original Post

I thought we were entering the Dog Days where Olympic Trials would have to sustain us until NFL Training Camp, but alas, on the heels of the much renowned Yes MSG NBA Draft recap, we now have the start of Free Agency.

But before I get to the Free Agents, let me first do the Yes MSG digression by talking a little NFL.  Osi Umenyiora of the NY Giants was on the radio this morning.  He discusses how he went to Troy, a Div 1AA school.  Also on the defensive line was DeMarcus Ware, first round draft pick of the Cowboys.  Are you kidding me?  Think of the poor O-lineman in Div 1-AA who are future accountants of America who have no delusions of going pro, but have to get abused by two future All Pros.

Back to Free Agency.

Now I know that my sensitivity has changed when Antawn Jamison, of the Washington Wizards, re-ups for 4 years and $50M and I find it reasonable.  Sure he is 32 years old, and was once a GS Warrior, but this seems like money well spent.

Now when I think of his teammate — Agent Zero (Gilbert Arenas) — who played like 6 games last year, yet opts out of his contract, and is now looking to sign a 6 year ONE HUNDRED MILLION contract, well, that is when I return to the WTF days.

In other related news, both Elton Brand and Corey Maggette opted out of their contracts with the Clippers.  Makes sense to me - they play for the Clippers.  Maggette will be one of these guys who gets overpaid. His stats are good, but does anyone really game plan for Corey?  Is he a max kind of guy?  Even close to it?

This is where the NBA gets crazy.  You have to pay max contracts for non-max players.  Corey may not get one, but think of the enormous contracts signed by the Brian Grant’s of the world, Juwan Howard?  Even Alonso Mourning.  Seriously, give Kobe, LeBron and KG the max, but a lot of these other guys — Kenyon Martin, Nene — are ridiculously overpaid.

Which brings me to my next and last point before I get to ripping the free agents :): Baron Davis.  Looks like he is opting out of his $17.5M contract deal with the Warriors.  Good for both sides.  Baron is ‘giving up’ a huge number, but he 1) probably has not blown ALL of the previous $70M he has probably earned, and 2) he knows he will get a larger contract (less per year but more overall) than the remaining year.  So while they may say ’security’ is the reason for opting out, often it is because they do NOT need security, but also have the practical guarantee that they will sign something upwards of $40M easy.  Overall, probably a win for the Warriors as Baron is great, but they aren’t making the finals with him, he is 30, and has a bad knee, so saving the money for the future makes more sense.

With only 3 teams with cap room — Clippers (popular city, loser organization), Philly (unpopular city, Eastern Conference), Memphis (only popular if we are talking the Memphis University Tigers as they pay better) — don’t expect much movement.  So we will probably not have an Orlando to ridicule for bidding against themselves to get Seattle to do a sign and trade for Rashard Lewis, thus costing themselves a 1st round pick and an extra $40M for a 6′ 10″ perimeter player who cannot rebound or defend.  Not as bad as Barry Zito signing, but close.

Unrestricted Free Agents:

• Gilbert Arenas: I love Gilbert; one of the few athletes with a personality.  But do shoot first point guards lead you to a title?  Will the Wiz get by the Cavs with (or without) Gilbert.  Yes MSG says no.  (See Allen Iverson for your closest parallel.)
• Corey Maggette: Already said it — paying him more than as a B starter is a mistake.
• Antawn Jamison: Re upped for the reasonable for all $50M.
• Desagana Diop: This years Jerome James with a better work ethic and reasonable defense.  Too bad Isiah is not in charge of the Knicks anymore.
• Beno Udrih: Sacto should resign him as he is from Slovenia and does not know that Sacto is a cow town
• Kurt Thomas: Sure he is 35, but the SF Giants are supposedly interested as he would lower the average age.
• James Posey: Two titles.  Hits threes.  Plays D.  But the high socks are worth the midlevel exception alone.
• Mickael Pietrus: He needs to sign a big contract just to afford the spelling lessons.
• Ricky Davis: If anyone signs him they are crazy.
• Kwame Brown:  Someone should sign him as a constant reminder of why Michael Jordan is an absolutely horrific talent evaluator.

Restricted Free Agent (current team can match offer):

• Andre Iguodala: Shrinks in big moments.  Turned down $57M extension — needs to hire financial advisor.
• Josh Smith: Great Athlete, lots of upside, major hops, length — oh, forgot, already 4 years in the league and still does not know how to play.
• Emeka Okafor: Solid center.  If a team needs a decent player and a GREAT samaritan, this is your guy.  Would have been a good candidate for the reforming Jail Blazers. (Oh, turned down a $13M per year offer — that will not turn out to have been his best decision.)
• Jose Calderon: Predict will become as famous in Toronto as distant relative was in Miami during the Miami Vice days.
• Luol Deng: Was an up and coming star last off season. Turned down extension from Bulls.  Sucked this year.  See Iguodala, Andre
• Ben Gordon: Ibid
• Andris Biedrins:  Have you seen his hair?  Have you seen him shoot free throws.  Restricted in his appeal.
• Monta Ellis: This is where the Baron Davis money goes.
• Josh Childress:  Soft Stanford guy; nice afro though.
• Nenad Krstic: Cannot keep all of these ‘ic’ straight, unless it is Ana Ivanovic (see Wimbledon post) so who cares.

 

Euro Recap

I know that most of my readers are not Soccer fans, so this post on the European Cup Final between Germany and Spain may not be the most anticipated posting, but read on as you know the 411 I bring will be unique.

First of all these Country v Country matchups are great.  Nothing really compares, unless, perhaps, your personal sports team is in a final.

And for those who find soccer boring, I got to tell you, the fact that scoring is so difficult, and that a brief slip can end in a loss or a tie does ratchet up the tension.  Take today’s matchup.

Spain (Fernando Torres in an incredibly deft maneuver) went ahead 1-0 in the 33rd minute.  And while Spain dominated play, they could not put the game away with a second goal.  So for the final 20 or so minutes, then tension was high as you always knew the Germans were only a Spanish mistake away from tying the game.

Nevertheless, Spain, to my utmost respect, kept the pressure on and forced the action on the Germans as opposed to playing 11 men in the box in a boring defensive stance.

Germany, surprisingly, never looked like they were going to win, which, to my happiness, they did not.

Why my happiness?  Well, this brings us to tonight’s poll question: Other than Germans, who roots for the Germans?  Seriously?  Maybe Brazilians when Argentina plays Germany.  And maybe Argentineans when Brazil plays Germany, but other than that?  Suggestions welcome.

This is the fourth major sports Final (and Final Four) that probably gave me more joy considering who the loser was.

1) In football, I wanted to Pats to not go undefeated or make the Super Bowl, but considering their perfect season was ruined by Eli Manning, makes their reaching the final actually a better outcome.

2) In the NCAAs, I was happy, sort of, to see UCLA lose in the Final Four AGAIN.  Even though I would have preferred them losing to Texas A&M.

3) In NBA Basketball, never root for the Lakers, but watching their pathetic performance against Boston was rewarding.

4) And now seeing Spain gain redemption against the Germans in Austria, was the fourth Final in a row that went my way.

Now I must begrudgingly admit that whether you like or dislike the Germans, you have to be impressed with their soccer team history.  There have been 18 World Cups and the Germans have won 3 and made 6 finals.  There have been 13 Euro Cups, and the Germans have won 3 and made 6 finals.  For those of you counting at home, that is 12 finals in 31 tournaments - almost 40%.  FORTY PERCENT.

Coupled with their 100% record in starting World Wars, this is unparalleled.

Michael Ballack.  Is Germany’s captain the Jim Kelly of European Football?  Here are the finals that Ballack has been in:

2 Champions’ League Finals

1 World Cup Final

1 European Cup Final

And he has left with four second place finishes.  His Chelsea club also finished second this year to Manchester United in the English Premier League.  Guy cannot win a title.

Finally, I will miss German wing Bastjian Schweinsteiger — he looks like the perfect Aryan villain, but his name means something like “Works with Pigs” and that is just too good.  Irrelevant, but good.

NBA Draft Review

Seeing that my Wimbledon prediction was correct — I said Ivanovic over Sharapova, and sure enough Ana made it to the 3rd round, and Maria only to the second.  Now, to make it worth our while, I would have to find another Slavic babe to support, and I cannot be bothered since my readers are clamouring for the NBA Draft Review.

I have been reading all day in the service or you, the loyal reader, and what have I found, the experts don’t agree.  Love-Mayo trade benefits Minnesota.  No, Love-Mayo trade beefits the Grizz.  Rose surely over Beasley as Rose is a winner.  Beasley over Rose as Rose is too quiet and you always go for size.

So I figured, why the heck am I studying these opinions, especially since you are more interested in my unique take, versus a preview of something we will not know for 4 years.

So here goes.  Of course, should I read anything going forward, I will be certain to update this post.

First a few observations:

1. Jay Bilas is too nice of a guy.  He likes everyone and they all ‘have a place in the league.’  Hey Jay, basketball is the most competitive sport from a draft perspective.  On average, like 3 guys make an impact, and a lot of first round picks don’t make it.  Take this year, after Mayo, there were ???  Can you imagine this in the NFL draft where a fifth round pick has a good chance of making the team. (Oh, and how many guys can possibly be ‘long, but need to improve their shooting.’
2. Draftees are also considered to have ‘length, a good motor and lots of upside.’  At least two of these are valuable in Porn stars too, and I woujld not want Ron Jeremy playing the 4.  Maybe the 12, but not the 4.
3. The other thing I like is when a player is traded for cash. They never say how much.  What if it were like a few 12 packs of Bud? 

(1) Derrick Rose - Bulls - PG Memphis - HT: 6′3 WT: 205 - SI GRADE: 10	Player Profile
I like this pick.  He showed me more in the NCAAs than anyone else.
		(2) Michael Beasley - Heat - PF Kansas State - HT: 6′10 WT: 235 - SI GRADE: 10	Player Profile
What up with the ‘bad guy’ complex such that the Heat were supposedly not interested.  Um, and OJ Mayo has no baggage.  Speaking of….
		(3) O.J. Mayo - Timberwolves - PG/SG USC - HT: 6′5 WT: 200 - SI GRADE: 9 - traded to Grizzlies	Player Profile
OJ goes to Memphis, which I think is a win for them.  He has more ability compared with Love — see below.
		(4) Russell Westbrook - SuperSonics - PG/SG UCLA - HT: 6′3 WT: 189 - SI GRADE: 9	Player Profile
OK, my soon to be OK Sonics take the first ‘upside’ guy.  That always worries me when it is all upside after 2 years on college.  He did not start at point and has no offensive game, but if he can defend…. Don’t you get more at #4?  To my point, the NBA dsraft is T-H-I-N!
		(5) Kevin Love - Grizzlies - C UCLA - HT: 6′10 WT: 271 - SI GRADE: 9 - traded to Timberwolves	Player Profile
Love goes 5th and is traded to Minnesota.  He is undersized and under athletic but fundamentally sound.  The only guy who has ever had ‘fundamentally sound’ used as a compliment was Tim Duncan, and he was NOT described as too short, too slow or unathletic.  But hey, bring back the long outlet pass and I am happy.
		(6) Danilo Gallinari - Knicks - SF Italy - HT: 6′9 WT: 209 - SI GRADE: 9	Player Profile
Best Italian speaking player drafted since Kobe Bryant!
		(7) Eric Gordon - Clippers - SG Indiana - HT: 6′4 WT: 215 - SI GRADE: 9	Player Profile
He is actually only 6′ 2″, can only shoot (cannot pass or handle the ball), already appears fat at 19 years of age, and will be playing for the Clippers.  No math necessary.
		( Joe Alexander - Bucks - SF West Virginia - HT: 6′8 WT: 230 - SI GRADE: 8	Player Profile
I like Joe Alexander but not sure how he is 8th best player.  he does speak Chinese which would have helped with Yi Jianlian, but then Yi was traded to Jersey.  Maybe Richard Jefferson needs a guide to Szechuan v Hunan.
		(9) D.J. Augustin - Bobcats - PG Texas - HT: 6′0 WT: 180 - SI GRADE: 8	Player Profile
I love small guys, as I am one, but DJ was worked by Rose in the NCAAs, so think what Deron and CP3 will do to him.  Charlotte, and MJ, are the worst talent evaluators — Adam Morrison anyone?
		(10) Brook Lopez - Nets - PF/C Stanford - HT: 7′0 WT: 260 - SI GRADE: 9	Player Profile
Stanford twins — these are like the Collins twins with better afros.
		(11) Jerryd Bayless - Pacers - PG/SG Arizona - HT: 6′3 WT: 199 - SI GRADE: 9 - traded to Trail Blazers	Player Profile
I like this pick.  Why?  No idea — never saw him play, but think he has lots of ‘upside’
		(12) Jason Thompson - Kings - PF/C Rider - HT: 6′11 WT: 250 - SI GRADE: 4	Player Profile
Rider?  Um, Rider?  Sure, lots of all-stars come from nothing programs.  Hey, take him in the second.
		(13) Brandon Rush - Trail Blazers - SG/SF Kansas - HT: 6′6 WT: 210 - SI GRADE: 7 - traded to Pacers	Player Profile
Will be playing with his brother Kareem in Indiana, which is fine until Kareem gets cut, then what will Brandon do?
		(14) Anthony Randolph - Warriors - SF/PF LSU - HT: 6′11 WT: 220 - SI GRADE: 9	Player Profile
Biggest Upside of the draft, which is perfect for a team that has made the playoffs once in fifteen years, and drafted other upside guys like Patrick Bryant, and Brandaon Wright.  And they only wasted a 14, not a 2, like those wasted on other Upside guys from LSU like Tyrus Thomas and Stromile Swift.
		(15) Robin Lopez - Suns - PF/C Stanford - HT: 7′0 WT: 255 - SI GRADE: 7	Player Profile
I like the Suns, but their time is over.  Sideshow Bob’s hair will be fun to watch though.
		(16) Marreese Speights - 76ers - PF/C Florida - HT: 6′10 WT: 245 - SI GRADE: 6	Player Profile
Another upside guy.
		(17) Roy Hibbert - Raptors - C Georgetown - HT: 7′2 WT: 275 - SI GRADE: 6	Player Profile
OK, here is a change — not an upside guy.  7′ 2″, slow and cannot rebound.  Should be great!   At least Toronto is under no illusions.
.		(1 JaVale McGee - Wizards - PF/C Nevada - HT: 7′0 WT: 237 - SI GRADE: 6	Player Profile
His mom is Pam McGee, who played on the USC Trojans that won the women’s NCAAs with Cherly Miller, so he will be the first NBA player whose mom was better; kind of like Reggie Miller was the first to have a sister who was better.
		(19) J.J. Hickson - Cavaliers - PF North Carolina State - HT: 6′9 WT: 242 - SI GRADE: 6	Player Profile
Freshman.  One year at NC State — recipe for success.
		(20) Alexis Ajinca - Bobcats - C France - HT: 7′0 WT: 220 - SI GRADE: 6	Player Profile
He average like 5 points and 5 rebounds in France.  Are you f’ing kidding.  This is the worse overseas pick since the Sonics took Mohammed Sene, who average 3 points and 3 rebounds in the Belgian league.
		(21) Ryan Anderson - Nets - SG/SF California - HT: 6′10 WT: 240 - SI GRADE: 4	Player Profile
Best pick of the draft.  Can take the 4 outside.  Can post up the 3.  Long, Tons of Upside
		(22) Courtney Lee - Magic - SG Western Kentucky - HT: 6′5 WT: 200 - SI GRADE: 5	Player Profile
Never look down on a Hilltopper.
		(23) Kosta Koufos - Jazz - PF/C Ohio State - HT: 7′0 WT: 265 - SI GRADE: 7	Player Profile
He sucked in college and is unathletic.  Kevin Love will dominate him. Heck, Courtney Love would dominate him.
		(24) Serge Ibaka - SuperSonics - PF Congo - HT: 6′10 WT: 220 - SI GRADE: 6	Player Profile
They have drafted Sene, originally from Africa, this guy from Congo, Petro (from France via Africa, and RObert Swift, from Bakersfield, Califonia - what with the Centers from the Dark Continent?
		(25) Nicolas Batum - Rockets - SF France - HT: 6′9 WT: 210 - SI GRADE: 7 - traded to Trail Blazers	Player Profile
French and traded for Darrell Arthur — mistake
		(26) George Hill - Spurs - SG Indiana U./Purdue U.-Indianapolis - HT: 6′2 WT: 180 -	Player Profile
IUPUI (note the true college name to the right)?  That alone makes this a joke.  MVP of the Summit Conference?  Even more of a joke.
		(27) Darrell Arthur - Trail Blazers - PF Kansas - HT: 6′9 WT: 225 - SI GRADE: 8 - traded to Grizzlies	Player Profile
I just like it because he was dissed and traded 3 times on draft night.  Will probably be rookie of the year.
		(2 Donte Greene - Grizzlies - SF/PF Syracuse - HT: 6′11 WT: 226 - SI GRADE: 7 - traded to Rockets	Player Profile
Next Carmelo — or not
		(29) D.J. White - Pistons - PF Indiana - HT: 6′9 WT: 251 - SI GRADE: 5 - traded to SuperSonics	Player Profile
Actually, good pick as he is solid and this was late.
		(30) J.R. Giddens - Celtics - SG New Mexico - HT: 6′5 WT: 205 - SI GRADE: 5

 OK, supposedly this guy has off court issues.  But more important to me is that he played at NEW MEXICO?  I would be more concerned about On Court Issues!

For the Second Round I just make some observations, since with the exception of Gilbert Arenas - first pick in second round — high schoolers — Monta Ellis — and Intl Players - Manu — this round does not matter.

Joey Dorsey — the next Ben Wallace — love players who totally scare me to look at

Mario Chalmers — if he does not hit that shot, he does not even get drafted

Luke Richard Mbah a Moute — best Cameroonian Prince ever drafted

Devon Hardin — TOTALLY underrated from Cal — steal of the draft

Omer Asik — I think he was MVP of the Turkish league

Mike Taylor — first draft pick from the NBDL because he was kicked off the team at Iowa State.  Iowa State?  Not exactly the rules of Andover there, so what exactly did he do

Sausha Kaun — will make more money playing in Russia — need I say more

I could go on, but I doubt you have read even this far!  Tune in again in three years to see how I did.

The Only Wimbledon Preview You Will Need

Ana Ivanovic

or

Maria Sharapova

Personally, I am going with the 6′ 1″ Serb (current resident of Switzerland), as I find her FAR superior (at tennis of course).

There were some other sports stories, but they are so lame they only warrant brief mention:

1) The NBA draft is coming and likely #2 pick (if not #1) Michael Beasley turns out to be 6′ 7″, not 6′ 10″.  What?  Look, I know that all stats from height to weight to speed to strength are exaggerated, but 3″.  That is a stretch — no pun intended.

Needless to say, I would like to use such creative accounting in my personal life — but Sarbanes Oxley and other unwritten rules prevent me from exaggerating financies or length so greatly.

Maybe next time I go fishing.

2) Shaq “freestyling” and dissing Kobe with tasteful lyrics like “Kobe, how does my a$$ taste.”  To be honest, their feud is silly and who cares.

3) Don Imus, upon finding out that Pacman Jones is black, states that this explains all the arrests.  Of course, Imus is surprised that people think the user of the phrase “nappy headed ho’s” meant anything racist by this. In fact, he amazingly contends that because Pacman is black he is being targeted.

This is so preposterous, even more so than Pacman stating his disappointment in Imus and that he will pray for him.

Um guys, did you not realize that both of you are victims of your track record.  Imus, you always say racist offensive things so that is how all you say will be taken.  Pacman, you have been arrested 6 times, so you are not doing your profession, race, family, etc any favors.

Now SHUT IT!

Cesc will be the name of my next Son

If the title does not make any sense, then you are obviously not a soccer fan a Spain fan, or an Arsenal fan.

Anyway, Cesc was the latest hero in the Euro 2008 Tournament.  I got to tell you, these international competitions are great, and it is really a shame that the US does not really participate in them (other than the Olympics - kind of — and our more often than not drubbing in the World Cup).

Euro 2008 has had some amazing matches, most of which involved Turkey — scoring 3 times in the final 15 minutes to stun the Czechs 3-2; scoring in the 121st minute (extra time of overtime) to tie Croatia and then win on penalties.

We can only hope they are able to beat the Germans on Wednesday, although that might be unlikely as Turkey will be missing 4 starters due to injuries and yellow cards.  This would be like the Yankees winning the ALCS without Jeter, A-Rod (regular season A-Rod), Rivera and Cabrera.  I am afraid the German may have a walk to the Final, unless Allah is on the Turks side.

Speaking of Allah, this final 4 is pretty distinct; you have

The Fascists (Germany)

The Communists (Russia)

The Muslims (Turkey)

The Catholics (Spain)

Makes your choice easy.  Personally, I want Spain, but not for Christian reasons; I just like the flare with which they play.

Semi Finals are Wednesday and Thursday, and the final is Sunday.  Check it out if you can as it is a lot more interesting when National Pride is on the line, and not something as small as Kevin Garnett’s v Kobe Bryant’s legacy.  And there will not be an anti-climactic 131-92 blow out.

Yes MSG says watch Euro2008!

The Blowout

131-92

In the deciding game of an NBA Finals? 

I delay like a day in getting out this blog, and I am inundated with emails from obnoxious Boston fans asking where my posting is.  None of these guys realize how we have turned since the Sox 2004 Title.  Spygate and Belicheck ruined the Patriots for us, and while we like KG, Pierce and Ray, and do NOT like Kobe, don’t push it. 

Take the following.  I used to work with this homegrown Boston kid who went to Harvard.  Basically, I tutored him in consulting and got him into HBS (twice blessed as he arrogantly put it).  So he goes back to Beantown and forgets how to use a phone or type on a computer.  Nevertheless, I call to congratulate him on the Sox 2004 title, even though he treated us West Coasters like Bill Buckner.  He needed to learn manners from Big Papi.

Anyway, this guy continues his radio silence until last night when he accuses me of being a Kobe guy.  Um I am from the Bay Area; it is in my DNA to hate all LA teams, especially those fronted by admittedly all world hoopsters who are prima donnas and who should be playing in Charlotte.

Well, to my Beantown reader, here are my thoughts, but before I get to this, a couple other items that I thought were pretty interesting.

1) So Tiger is going to have reconstructive ACL surgery and miss the rest of the 2008 Golf Season.  Not even mentioning how amazing his US Open victory now seems, I wonder if anyone wants to do the study on all the financial losses the tournaments and networks will take with a Tigerless PGA Tour.  “Ogilvy and Karlsson in Sudden Death at the British — catch it Sunday!”  Of course, maybe Phil will use this opportunity to win an asterisk’d major.

Oh, and by the way, Tiger played 6 events this year, won 4, for a total of $5.8M in prize money.

2) And I loved this Kevin Garnett idea from a recent Bill Simmons Mail Bag

Ben(New Jersey): Sports Guy! I’ve been a fan for years but I’ve never written in before. I’m a senior in high school and my friends and I love to play a game called KG that. It’s when you take something ordinary and go crazy over it. For example, we went out for Chinese last Friday and after one of my friends ordered his beef and broccoli i told him he should KG it when it comes. When the waiter brought out his beef, he got up on his chair and started pounding his chest screaming “THATS HOW YOU ORDER CHINESE” he then ran around high fiving random people while pounding his chest and screaming. We ended up getting kicked out, but I’d say it was worth it. Whats the funniest situation you could see where you could KG something?

I will now try to KG the rest of this column.

WHY DID THE LAKERS LOSE (from Mark Kreidel of Fox)?

Kobe Bryant scored his fourth field goal at 5:30 of the first quarter. He didn’t score another until 7:09 of the third. In other words, Michael Jordan’s rep is safe, even in Los Angeles, for another year.  

The Lakers didn’t record an offensive rebound until Sasha Vujacic grabbed the first at 11:11 of the fourth quarter. By then the score was 91-62. 

The Celtics had 18 steals to the Lakers’ four. 

The Lakers didn’t block a shot.

And YesMSG would add:

• When I heard the starting lineup of the Lakers, and heard Gasol, Odom and Radmanovich, I thought a) That is 2 small forwards and a 2 guard playing the 3, 4 and 5; b) that is 20 feet, 8 inches of SOFT
• Lamar Odom is the A Rod of the NBA — padding his stats with nice moves and extra effort in the second half
• Kobe did not care.  He was going through the motions by the early 2nd quarter

This will be interesting for Lakers next year.  I was one of those who figured the Gasol trade meant the title, but now I am wondering if they have the right chemistry and supporting cast.  Vujacic and Radmanovich are spotty.  Gasol is a 3 or 4 at best.  Odom is an enigma, and Turiaf and Walton were exposed.  Maybe Farmar will be an OK back up, but Fisher is getting old.  And Kobe gets on everyone’s nerves I think.

I know, I know, Bynum is coming back.  And while I commend Mitch Kupchak for not trading a potential Pivot for an over-the-hill J Kidd, I am not convinced he is the second coming of Kareem, much less Tyson Chandler.

And any thought that he changes the 2008 Finals is ludicrous.  A 20 year old with no big game experience (IE Not Magic Johnson) is not going to single handedly change the face of a finals.

However, the Lakers are in good shape, as are the Celts, since both conferences are facing declining teams.

In the West

-Houston: Yao and McGrady — need I say more

-Phoenix: Too old and Shaq too (take your pick) old, slow, fat, unmotivated

-Warriors: To gimmicky

-Utah: Unless Deron WIlliams becomes the ultimate go to guy, and he might, they have no go to guy.  Boozer? Nyah.

-San Antonio: Too old, even if Ginobili returns to form

-Portland: Too young still, but with the Sonics moving, will enjoy watching Oden (who is actually Too Old :))

-New Orleans: OK, they might be the real deal.  If Peja can hit from the outside, and if David West is the real deal, they will combine with CP3 for a potentially dominant team. But let’s see.

In the East

-Detroit is retooling

-NJ is too young and still pays Vinsanity too much

-Philly still developing

-Cleveland: LBJ could do it, but he could use at least one NBDL all star to team with

-Atlanta: only if they channel all their home playoff success into an 83 game season

Anyway, that is my take, and now will spend the summer looking for more sarcastic topics to share.

Thoughts on Javon and NASCAR

Obviously, my trip to Brazil has affected me as I have no ability to write long entries on a single topic.  Admitting this potential failing, I will comment on a couple of items.

1) Now I am glad that Javon Walker is going to be OK but in case you had not heard, he was beaten and robbed in Las Vegas, and left unconscious on the side of the road.  A few thoughts for Javon.

a) You amazingly signed a $55M contract with the Raiders ($16M guaranteed) despite having missed have of the last season and another entire season in the last three years due to knee injuries.  Why are you out alone in Vegas?  Why aren’t you chilling in Bermuda in a high end resort where your chances of getting beat up are limited?

b) You were reportedly robbed of $3K in cash and $100K (ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND) in jewelry.  I can understand the $3K in cash, but WTF are you doing wearing $100K in jewelry on the streets of Vegas?  Sure. lots of Vegas wives wear that kind of Bling, but not out at night alone.

c) You reportedly were spraying champagne into the crowd outside a night club.  Um, do we need to draw more attention to ourselves?  I figure someone in the crowd had the following conversation?

“Hey, who is spraying $15,000 worth of champagne into the crowd?”

“Someone rich.  Hey, I think that is Javon Walker of the Raiders.”

“Javon — he signed for $55M.”

“Look at the size of those diamond studded earrings.  They would look good on my Pit Bull’s collar.”

Nuff said.

d) Javon, weren’t you with Darrent Williams in Denver, at a night club, and spraying champagne, the night he was shot and killed?  Didn’t he die in your arms?

I may be jumping the gun before we know all the facts, but I am only a blogger; regardless, this may have been a random act of violence, but keep a lower profile and hire body guards.

2) The NASCAR discrimination trial.  Deadspin does a much better job or recounting the case than I do, and some of the verbiage is offensive even to my ears, but this is unbelievable.

I grew up in a race car family, but we always appreciated cars that turned left AND right as well as drivers and fans that had entire sets of teeth.  Now I know that NASCAR has changed and that the drivers are no longer dentally challenged, but it appears that even if the drivers have changed (not sure about the fans), the officials have not.

When you read the excerpts, you actually want Mauricia Grant to get the entire $225M.  Officials exposing themselves, using racial epithets and exceedingly puerile and callous humor.  The amazing things are:

a) The officials actually thought this was funny — not even a four year old would find funny.

b) The officials thought it was OK

c) The officials ACTUALLY think this stuff

d) NASCAR has an official named David Duke.  Not the White Nationalist I linked too, but still.  That is like the Bundestag hiring a (not THE) Heinrich Himmler as PR Director.

Makes Max Mosely’s (F1 President) Nazi Fantasies rather tame by comparison — that was just hookers and dress up.

Anyway, I cannot think of a way to tackle such a subject and add in some humor, but since Deadspin did it for me, click here to gasp and laugh.

 

Enjoy the NBA Finals. 

Best Sport Highlight of the Day

So I am watching Game 5 of the NBA Finals.  This should be the sporting event of the day as a pretty competitive game and the Celts can clinch their 17th title.  And of course, you have the sub plots of whether Kobe is MJ or not, and if Pau Gasol is the softest European since the French in WWII.  But it is not.

Neither is the Professional Tiger Tour and the US Open.  Sure, Tiger on one knee and needing to birdie 18 to force a playoff is compelling.   But golf is not a sport, and really, who cares.

No, the best sporting event of the day was in the Euro2008 Soccer Cup.  I am fortunate that I have a 2.5 year old who has to nap, which sometimes causes me to view sporting events I normally would not.   Anyway, I turn on the game with 20 minutes to go and the Czechs are beating the Turks 2-0.  Winner goes through to the next round, loser goes home. 

Normally, a 2 goal lead with only 20 minutes to go is insurmountable in soccer, but Turkey gets a goal with 15 minutes to go, cutting the lead to 1 and making it rather exciting.  We reach the 86th minutes and it seems that it is over, but on a simple cross from the Turks, Czech goalie, Pete Cech (some consider the best goalie in the world) mishandles it and the Turks equalize.

Now we are looking at penalty kicks since the points, and goal differential will be equal between the two teams.  However, penalties are capricious, so Turkey takes it into its own hands by scoring a massive goal and a bullet from outside the area.

Result: Turk through to second round, Czech back to Prague.

You don’t have to  be a soccer fan to appreciate NATIONS playhing each other, and scoring twice in 2 minutes (3 times in 14 minutes) outweighs a game 5 when you can always have a game 6 or 7, or any golf tournament Tiger withstanding.

Thanks and good night!

PS - Lakers win but not convincingly

Quick Hits

I have a lot to catch up on.  McCain-Obama can wait.

Remember my article on athletes blowing their money.  If not, search below under the Sports heading.  Anyway, Evander Holyfield, the boxer, has earned like $250 million in the ring.  Well, three marriages, 11 (ELEVEN!) children and a home whose specifics are as follows: 109 rooms, including 17 bathrooms, 3 kitchens, and a bowling alley, with upkeep well over $100K per month - might be in financial trouble.

Makes the $60M that Kenny Anderson reportedly blew a mere pittance.

This follows on another article about pro athletes losing money in scams.  Hey, here is some financial advice, if you sign a guaranteed contract for anything north of $10M, invest in Charles Schwab and CDs, then you will not lose it all.

On to basketball.  I am still absorbing the Celts comeback, and the fact that I will not see it until tonight on ESPN Classic.  I was watching the first half of the third quarter and with the lead still at 18-20, figured it was over.  Oops.